First of all, no one is stopping kids from praying on the football field (see first tweet below). Secondly, liberals don’t want to “prohibit religious expression.” I support every American’s right to believe any stupid thing they want to, whether it’s that Xenu the Evil Galactic Overlord transported billions of people to earth in DC-8s 75 million years ago, piled them up around volcanoes, and blew them up with hydrogen bombs or that Donald Trump was sent by God to save our country.
I know which one seems more plausible to me, but I don’t want to step on anyone’s sincerely held beliefs, so I’ll just sit here drinking my little wine and having my little cracker.
But, whatever.
The first tweet below isn’t nearly as ridiculous as the second — which shows Trump at today’s White House prayer event with a big, goofy map depicting his Electoral College victory.
And, yeah, I have questions:
- Wasn’t Jesus all about being humble to a fault? Isn’t bragging about a 3-plus-year-old election by displaying a completely misleading map that simply shows that the areas he won are less densely populated than the areas he lost kind of the opposite of humility? Isn’t self-aggrandizing to this degree at a fucking prayer event at the very least sin-adjacent?
- How many times a day do White House interns have to squeegee that map off after Trump is done with it? It looks kind of glossy. Is it laminated? Does he take that thing everywhere he goes? I’m a little freaked, honestly.
By the way, everyone in that photo looks super bored, especially that kid on the far left. Because there’s nothing more tedious than a 73-year-old man who can’t stop talking about himself. Just ask Melania.
Read the room for once, Li’l Donnie. This isn’t your cult. No one fucking cares about your meaningless map.
Maybe do some presidenting for once, okay? Or not. Naps are good, too.
Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its super-fun sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.