Last night, Stephen looked at how America's changing demographics are making the GOP resort to even more dirty tactics like gerrymandering to hold on to their power.
Well sorry, Obama. Your class warfare isn't going to work. Fox News contributor and ShamWow! pitchman Stuart Varney knows the reason why.
1/21/2013:
STUART VARNEY: Rich people, powerful people in America today are reviled, aren't they? They're dismissed as fat cats who don't pay their fair share.
STEVE DOOCY: Class warfare!
STUART VARNEY: We just hate 'em, right? Rich people are evil! And yet, along comes this show, Downton Abbey, rich people prominently featured, and they're generous! They're nice people! They create jobs for heaven's sake! They're classy. They've got style. And we love 'em! That show is wildly popular, which poses a threat to the left, doesn't it?
Yes it does! The popularity of Downton Abbey proves that America loves rich guys, the same way the popularity of Breaking Bad proves America loves meth dealers. (audience cheering and applause)
....
Anyway, what are you going to do? We are looking at four more years of this guy. And thanks to Obamacare, we might live to see it. Where did we go wrong? The Republicans had everything going for them! A terrible economy, an unpopular incumbent, and a positive message for the American voter: less than half of you are parasites!
And still, we lost. And with America's changing demographics, it only looks bleaker for Republicans in the future. Unless science can find a way for Latino women to give birth to old white men.
Where is the funding, Koch brothers? Get on it!
....
Yes, even though they lost the popular combined vote, the GOP kept control of the House by a 33-seat margin. And they did it without watering down the Republican Party platform. ("Rape Is So Misunderstood.")
Now, just how did the Republicans do it? (Missionary Style?) They did it with a little thing I call gerrymandering. (Named for Gerald Mander, The Third) You see, back in 2010, Republican state legislatures across the nation redrew Congressional districts to make them a lock for the GOP. And in some cases, just to send a message to the Democrats.
Because that's the beauty of gerrymandering. Instead of voters getting to pick their leaders, leaders get to pick their voters. (Me, The People) And I say, why not? We should trust our leaders. After all, we voted them in. (Once, Back in the 70's.)
Well, now that the GOP has its gerrymandering game down, they are ready to take it to the next level. Republican legislators in the key swing states of Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Virginia, are lining up behind proposals that would allocate presidential electoral college votes by congressional district. As a supporter of this idea, Pennsylvania state senator Dominic Pileggi argues, "the current winner-take-all system is inherently unfair because the losing party... gets no credit in the electoral count".
Yeah, the losing party never gets to pick the President. This legislation just allows Republicans to level the playing field. (And Turn It Into A Golf Course) Because folks, here's the great part. If you applied this plan to the 2012 election, even though 5 million more people voted for the Democrat, the Republican would've won the presidency by 22 electoral votes.
So it's a win-win. (Except For The Guy Who Won) I mean, it's like a Cinderella story. It's like Rocky. (In That Stephen's Pulling for the White Guy)
Video and full transcript below the fold.
Folks, I am still reeling from yesterday's inauguration disaster. First off, where was security? The Secret Service's job is to protect the President and the First Lady, but in the middle of a kiss, they were viciously photobombed. Enjoy Gitmo, Malia.
And the more I think about it folks, the less impressed I am with Obama's inaugural speech. And it's not just me. It's everybody on Fox News.
GERRI WILLIS (1/21/2013): The President made a case for big government.
CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (1/21/2013): This speech today was an ode to big government. It was a hymn to big government.
STUART VARNEY (1/22/2013): At his heart, I think President Obama is a socialist.
Oh yeah, at his heart, he is clearly a socialist. You ever notice how it shares the blood with all the other organs?
Well sorry, Obama. Your class warfare isn't going to work. Fox News contributor and ShamWow! pitchman Stuart Varney knows the reason why.
1/21/2013:
STUART VARNEY: Rich people, powerful people in America today are reviled, aren't they? They're dismissed as fat cats who don't pay their fair share.
STEVE DOOCY: Class warfare!
STUART VARNEY: We just hate 'em, right? Rich people are evil! And yet, along comes this show, Downton Abbey, rich people prominently featured, and they're generous! They're nice people! They create jobs for heaven's sake! They're classy. They've got style. And we love 'em! That show is wildly popular, which poses a threat to the left, doesn't it?
Yes it does! The popularity of Downton Abbey proves that America loves rich guys, the same way the popularity of Breaking Bad proves America loves meth dealers. (audience cheering and applause)
It would be so great to work for a rich aristocrat like the fictional Lord Grantham. Just ask the fictional newsman Steve Doocy.
STEVE DOOCY (1/21/2013): Here's the thing. The entire town loves the rich guy who lives in the abbey, because he provides the jobs, he looks out for everybody, he has free medical care for everybody without him — and spoiler alert — looked like two weeks ago, he was going to lose the joint. Yes! Without him, the place would go belly-up.
Yes! He looks after everybody. Everything depends on Lord Grantham. He pays for the medical clinic in the village, and two weeks ago, he almost lost everything because he invested poorly in the Canadian railroad. And I believe that's how our society should function: one rich guy fails, nobody gets health care.
The point is, Obama's inaugural speech, swing and a miss. Not just for what he said, but for what he did not say. Right, Fox News's Peter Johnson, Jr.?
PETER JOHNSON, JR. (1/22/2013): It was a very bizarre, disordered priority of what our national interests were. Where was the debt? Where was the deficit? Where was the unemployment? Where was the issue of poverty in America, which has increased under his watch? Where is the hopelessness?
Yeah, where was the hopelessness? That's what the American public wants! I mean, have we forgotten FDR's famous inaugural when he proclaimed:
FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT (3/4/1933): The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and also a second depression, rampant starvation, and my gut's telling me that Europe's a tinderbox. Ah, what's the point? We're all doomed! I can't walk! I can't walk!!
(audience cheering and applause)
Anyway, what are you going to do? We are looking at four more years of this guy. And thanks to Obamacare, we might live to see it. Where did we go wrong? The Republicans had everything going for them! A terrible economy, an unpopular incumbent, and a positive message for the American voter: less than half of you are parasites!
And still, we lost. And with America's changing demographics, it only looks bleaker for Republicans in the future. Unless science can find a way for Latino women to give birth to old white men.
Where is the funding, Koch brothers? Get on it! Cuz it is bad, folks. In 2012, the GOP lost the presidency, they lost the Senate, they lost the vote count in the House of Representatives by a combined 1.1 million votes. Republicans haven't gotten an ass paddling like that since D.C. shut down Madame Kink's Rump Dungeon. (audience laughter) If it's Wednesday, ask for the "trickle down". (audience laughter)
And it is getting so bad, that to win the presidency next time, some are saying that Republicans might have to change their messaging, or change their policies, or change the constituencies that they serve. Now thankfully, there's a better answer, and it brings us to tonight's Wørd: Win, Lose, or Redraw.
Now conservatives out there, do not weld your bunker door shut just yet, because as bad as things look right now, there is one place Republicans did hold on to power.
JOHN BOEHNER (12/2/2012): Republicans continue to hold the majority in the House.
Yes, even though they lost the popular combined vote, the GOP kept control of the House by a 33-seat margin. And they did it without watering down the Republican Party platform. ("Rape Is So Misunderstood.")
Now, just how did the Republicans do it? (Missionary Style?) They did it with a little thing I call gerrymandering. (Named for Gerald Mander, The Third) You see, back in 2010, Republican state legislatures across the nation redrew Congressional districts to make them a lock for the GOP. And in some cases, just to send a message to the Democrats.
Because that's the beauty of gerrymandering. Instead of voters getting to pick their leaders, leaders get to pick their voters. (Me, The People) And I say, why not? We should trust our leaders. After all, we voted them in. (Once, Back in the 70's.)
Well, now that the GOP has its gerrymandering game down, they are ready to take it to the next level. Republican legislators in the key swing states of Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Virginia, are lining up behind proposals that would allocate presidential electoral college votes by congressional district. As a supporter of this idea, Pennsylvania state senator Dominic Pileggi argues, "the current winner-take-all system is inherently unfair because the losing party... gets no credit in the electoral count".
Yeah, the losing party never gets to pick the President. This legislation just allows Republicans to level the playing field. (And Turn It Into A Golf Course) Because folks, here's the great part. If you applied this plan to the 2012 election, even though 5 million more people voted for the Democrat, the Republican would've won the presidency by 22 electoral votes.
So it's a win-win. (Except For The Guy Who Won) I mean, it's like a Cinderella story. It's like Rocky. (In That Stephen's Pulling for the White Guy)
And yes, I will admit freely that it's not exactly majority rule. But as much as I love the American people, sometimes the majority just doesn't know what's good for them. (Case In Point: The Cheesecake Factory)
So I say, do it, Republicans. Over the next four years, our society's values will continue to evolve, along with its demographics. So you must listen to these voters, and then make sure that they cannot be heard on election day. (Win, Lose, or Redraw) And that's the Wørd. We'll be right back.
Meanwhile, Jon looked at the inauguration coverage, from the
controversy over Beyonce lip-synching the National Anthem, to
Obama's progressive speech and the
right-wing reaction to their own version of what they think he said.
John Oliver was back again at the inauguration to interview people there about the
dampened enthusiasm this year compared to four years ago.
Stephen interviewed
Kathryn Bigelow after
Dustin Hoffman cancelled on him. There's actually an
extended version of Stephen's interview, a rarity. Jon interviewed actress/singer
Jennifer Lopez.