Last night in Feminisms: Testing Your Sexism, we seemed to reach a consensus that institutionalized sexism has "tainted" even liberals and feminists who also hold some sexist beliefs and engage in some sexist behavior. The question now is how can we eliminate harmful sexism?
Clearly, we need to change sexist practices, like wage discrimination, and adopt an Equal Rights Amendment that recognizes finally that women have equal rights, and can be used to prevent discriminatory laws in the future.
But, much of the fight to eliminate harmful sexism will require "deprogramming" or de-socialization of our society of the institutionalized sexism. That means that we should not remain silent when harmful sexism happens online or in our daily lives.
In order to eliminate sexism, we must recognize some of the common sexist memes that men and society use to maintain power and control over women while simultaneously belittling the sexism.
This diary proposes a definition of harmful sexism and looks at some of the more common sexism memes.
The elimination of sexism should not be a purity effort. There are many things that could be technically sexism in the sense of differences based on gender. The question for me is does the particular express or implied sexism per se hurt women or does the conduct and/or words have a sufficient relationship or nexus to harmful sexism that it can be a stepping stone to hurting women? If so, then it should be eliminated.
This is my working definition of harmful sexism:
Harmful sexism is that sexism in which the conduct and/or words (including all modes of expression, such as art, pictures, music, etc) constitute discrimination or differentiation based on gender AND is harmful hostile or benevolent sexism.
Some common sexist memes include:
The Slut/Whore/Witch/Bitch Meme
The slut/whore meme originated with the obvious hypocrisy of designating women who have several sexual partners a slut or whore when the man is generally admired for the same conduct. However, the harm from these words alone goes beyond painting women with a "Scarlet Letter."
The use of sexist words alone has consequences. Words convey thoughts and principles and those principles indicate how we think people should be treated. If a woman is called a whore or slut, she is then accorded differential treatment. This is one reason why some believed that prostitutes could not be victims of rape.
The slut/whore meme expanded over time to include witches and bitches. This meme is often used when a man is angered that some woman had the audacity to disagree or criticize him or participate in an activity which invaded men's domain. While the Scarlet Letter was published in 1850, the meme is still sadly alive today.
In 2007, Chris Matthews used the slut/whore meme when he compared US Senator and presidential candidate Hillary Clinton to a "strip-teaser," described her as "look[ing] more witchy" because she criticized Bush on homeland security a day after London bombings, and referred to her as "sort of a Madame Defarge of the left." Madame Thérèse Defarge is the main ruthless villain of the book A Tale of Two Cities.
While Matthews casually uses the slut/witch/bitch meme to attack a high-profile woman who dared to enter the predominantly male domain of power and politics, others use the same meme to attack women who dare to exercise their constitutional right of free speech.
Sometimes the slut/whore/witch/bitch meme is not stated expressly but implied from the facts, such as the sexist mob mentality that attacked the Dixie Chicks. Ten days before Bush commenced his illegal war against Iraq, lead vocalist Natalie Maines publicly criticized Bush's decision to go to war and stated her embarrassment that he came from Texas. Many others publicly spoke out against the war at that time, and some men also faced Bush's right-wing attack dogs.
But none matched the intensity of this 3-year attack against the Dixie Chicks. With media consolidation placing the power in the hands of a few men, 306 radio stations banned their music, while angry protesters spewed their hatred of a woman who dared publicly criticize Bush. Mobs of people gathered together to crush the Dixie Chicks in effigy by using heavy trucks to crush their CDs to pieces. Death threats were made against the lead singer. Shotguns were aimed at a van which had their picture on the side. Protesters signs wanted to "strap her to a bomb and drop her over Baghdad."
Bill O'Reilly joined the frenzy, stating that the Dixie Chicks are "callow, foolish women who deserve to be slapped around....:"
Meanwhile, our feckless, sexist Bush blithely dismissed the Dixie Chicks as poor emotional, hormone-ridden women who had their "feelings hurt". Apparently, a woman criticizing the president is far worsethan being a country music singer like Tracy Lawrence, who is a convicted wife batterer.
Simply posing in a picture with Bill Clinton subjected one feminist blogger to online harassment as a whore for the crime of living with breasts:
Most were about my body, my perceived whorishness, and how I couldn't possibly be a good feminist because I had the gall to show up to a meeting with my breasts in tow. One commenter even created a limerick about me giving oral sex. Althouse herself said that I should have "worn a beret . . . a blue dress would have been good too". All this on the basis of a photograph of me in a crew-neck sweater from Gap.
Let's not forget the very popular bitch-slapping meme. The term is used "figuratively to mean putting someone in their place." It is defined as a man slapping a woman, and may evoke the "image of a male pimp slapping a female prostitute, where an open hand is used to generate less force." It is intended as a "weak slap, indicating disrespect for the person being slapped as they are not worthy of stronger punch." However, today, the term is also used to designate a man's unprovoked "punches" to a woman's face.
The Glass Ceiling Meme
The glass ceiling meme refers to sexism used to prevent women from upward advancement in their careers based upon unwritten or unofficial policies that limit or block opportunities. Despite 4 decades of the US addressing equal rights at work, the recent class-action lawsuit against Wal-Mart involving 1.5 million women shows the issue remains as women face unequal pay and exclusion from opportunities for promotion.
The glass ceiling meme is partially based upon the sexist view that women are inferior and unqualified for positions of status or power, such as lawmakers. For example, Chris Matthews apparently believes that the voices of female lawmakers are so unpleasant and grating that it would hamper a woman's ability to communicate with men in power. Matthews wondered how Pelosi could fight Bush on issues without "screaming" and "without being grating." Moreover, a woman's offensive voice would impede her ability to rally campaign supporters:
"We were watching Hillary Clinton earlier tonight; she was giving a campaign barn-burner speech, which is harder to give for a woman; it can grate on some men when they listen to it -- fingernails on a blackboard, perhaps."
The glass ceiling is also about excluding women from professional, social and political opportunities. This is the invisibility game, where men simply ignore women or their accomplishments.
Bush provides us with good examples.
Rep. Nancy Pelosi became the first woman to earn the position of Speaker of the House and thus second in line for the presidency. Bush refused to directly recognize this historical occasion. Instead, Bush joked about sending Pelosi "the names of some Republican interior decorators who can help her pick out the new drapes in her new offices."
Although there is a "tradition of altering the décor" when the office changes hands, "[i]t's hard to imagine that the same joke would have been told if the speaker in question were Dennis Hastert." It is even more unlikely that décor would be the first topic raised by Bush when a man assumes office.
Bush simply refuses to acknowledge the power of women by treating them in a sexist manner disrespectful of the office or position held. For example, Bush violated the protocol accorded male dignitaries by winking at the Queen of England:
Not amused, the Queen returns Bush's wink with a glare:
Then, after Bush uses a wink to cover-up his blunder of almost aging the Queen by 200 years, he uses a sexist joke to cover-up his sexist winking:
After the blunder the President paused and turned to the Queen to acknowledge his gaffe, joking that she "gave me a look that only a mother could give a child."
This may seem harmless, and many laughed at him, but the clear intended message was that the Queen was not his equal or the equal of male dignitaries, and that message is a reinforcement of harmful institutionalized sexism.
Sometimes, women are invisible to Bush even when raising their hands while standing in front of him. While 25% of the journalists at Bush's press conferences are women, Bush has a pattern of only permitting one or two women to ask a question, which can be detrimental to their career.
Bush's exclusion of women from the WH press conferences is similar to other men who exclude women from political and professional forums by simply ignoring the women. At political meetings, it is not uncommon for men to ask the women activists to fetch coffee while they discuss the political issues. Or, in online discussions at forums, it is not uncommon for men to simply ignore the views of women who are trying to participate in the political discussion. It's all the same glass ceiling game of exclusions.
The Sexist Groper
Hostile objectification of women can be harmful because we have a history of women being treated as objects and property. Centuries of patriarchal privilege have "defined men's relationship to women in terms of ownership and entitlement" where women are nothing more than property or a chattel to be owned by men. In 1978, only 3 states recognized domestic violence as a crime while the remaining states considered it a private matter. In 2006, a state appellate court determined that whether or not a rape occurred was dependent upon the ancient view that women are chattel, not human beings.
Sexist groping continues this history when men believe that they have the right to physically assault or touch women in inappropriate or unwelcome manner.
Not to be outdone by Governor Groper, Bush groped German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
Perhaps Bush felt public groping of women passengers at airports was ok, so why not female heads of state.
Scolding The Bad Little Girl
The patriarchal role of men over women is visible today as well. Sometimes men assume a parental role over silly women who misbehave by entering their domain and publicly scold them for "bad behavior." This is what Cheney did. After House Leader Rep. Nancy Pelosi opened a dialogue with the Syrian President, Bush and Cheney pursued a line of personal attacks against her that conveyed the underlying message that women should stay in the kitchen. In this case, Cheney and Bush were upset that Pelosi had "invaded" their domain of foreign policy.
So, patriarch Cheney publicly stated his anger by issuing his displeasure in a rebuke that Pelosi's visit to Syria constituted "bad behavior." However, there was no similar rebuke for all the men in the GOP who engaged in the same "bad behavior." As Pelosi and Lantos noted, Cheney sounded "sort of father figureish" when he scolded Pelosi, indicating that he would prefer Pelosi "stay home." As Lantos interjected, Cheney would probably prefer that Pelosi stay "in the kitchen."
The Sexism Card Meme Or Women Crying Sexism
The sexism card can be used as a shield to defend men accused of sexism. When a woman alleges sexism, then some men defend themselves by claiming that the woman is "playing the sexism card," which is shorthand for saying that her allegations are phony, trivial or do not constitute sexism.
Granted, women can wrongly charge men of sexism. But, if you evaluate the facts and circumstances when the man plays the sexism card, you often find the card being used to deflect from a case of true sexism.
Sometimes the context reveals the man is really trying to trivialize his sexism by claiming that the woman is overreacting, which simply means an "exaggerated response" or reaction with unnecessary "emotional display" in line with gender stereotypes. In many cases, the man is saying that the woman is "crying sexism," which is a clear reference to the fact that some women have made false rape allegations. However, as one commenter noted, it is often "the last refuge of someone who has no argument to say someone else is "crying" sexism."
The sexism card can also be used as a sword to attack or ward off criticisms. True to his own hypocrisy, Bush does not take meaningful measures to eliminate sexism, but is willing to use the "sexism card" in an effort to cause the public and conservatives to feel shame and cease questioning the qualifications of Miers for the US Supreme Court. Laura Bush stated in a TV appearance with her husband, that it's "possible" that any "questions about Miers's intellectual qualifications are sexist in nature."
The Online Stalker or Harasser
The sheer hate speech and vitriol against women that is expressed online is incredible. Some men belittle their stalking or harassing, claiming that they did not say anything sexist. Hello? When a man stalks or harasses a woman by email, phone calls or online postings, the conduct of stalking or harassing is sexist regardless of the substantive content of the communications.
A couple months ago, Kathy Sierra cancelled speaking engagements and was afraid to leave home after being "threatened with suffocation, rape and hanging" from mostly anonymous online threats. Sierra was subjected to violent verbal assaults ("fuck off you boring slut . . . I hope someone slits your throat") and photomontages ("one with a noose next to her head and another depicting her screaming with a thong covering her face") of her posted on other web sites. After she wrote about the abuse, the harassment attacks continued, with people hunting down and posting private information about her online in retaliation for having the courage to speak out.
A university study found that online users with female usernames were 25 times more likely to receive threatening or sexually explicit messages than male users or persons with ambiguous usernames. Female usernames averaged "163 malicious private messages a day" that were sexually explicit or threatening.
A new twist to online stalking and harassing is the practice of some men to also commit "reputation-maligning," which is the posting of offensive content and personal attacks that will be forever stored online. This maligning is easily accessible by a Google search, which is often used by prospective employers, who don't favor even the "appearance that a candidate is a lightning rod for controversy."
Several women learned from friends that they were the subject of "derogatory chats" on the popular AutoAdmit message board, which includes boards on law schools and firms. Some messages posted false claims about sexual activity and diseases and threats of physical and sexual violence:
The chats sometimes include photos taken from women's Facebook pages, and in the Yale student's case, one person threatened to sexually violate her. Another participant claimed to be the student, making it appear that she was taking part in the discussion.
"I didn't understand what I'd done to deserve it," said the student. "I also felt kind of scared because it was someone in my community who was threatening physical and sexual violence and I didn't know who."
The two male partners of AutoAdmit refused to remove the material, claiming freedom of expression, but it seems the men also blamed the women for inviting such attacks by their own conduct of posting online:
The two men said that some of the women who complain of being ridiculed on AutoAdmit invite attention by, for example, posting their photographs on other social networking sites, such as Facebook or MySpace.
The harm is that these verbal sexual attacks may later be used by our male-dominated business owners to deny her a job.
So, women should not post their pics online and researchers have concluded that women and girls should hide their gender by using "gender-free or ambiguous usernames" to avoid stalking or harassment.
The Sexist Disclaimer Meme
Indirect or covert sexism can be manifested by presupposition, innuendo, irony, humor or prefaced by disclaimers. The key is that the man intentionally chooses indirect sexism in order to mask the sexism and to give the speaker the potential for denying any intended sexism."
When using presupposition, the sexist conduct or statement may not appear sexist to some persons until the underlying sexist assumptions upon which the statement or conduct is based are revealed:
For example in the phrase "So have you women finished gossiping?" there are a number of presuppositions about women and talk which would need to be unpacked before the phrase could be responded to (for example, that women's talk is trivial, that women engage in gossiping more than men, that two women talking together can be assumed to be gossiping, and so on).
The danger is that society is developing this new rule that if the sexism is by innuendo, irony, humor or disclaimer, then it is not really sexism. Chris Matthews loves that disclaimers provide absolution from sexism charges. Before Matthews raised the "charge" that Hillary Clinton was too ambitious and calculating, he prefaced it with a disclaimer that "this may be sexist, I don't deny it—but."
How many TV pundits would say, "This may be racist" and then continue to say the racist statement?
Sexism is particularly wicked and harmful when joking about violence against women:
"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" "Nothing, you already told her twice!"
Too often people remain silent when sexism occurs – perhaps an effort to be polite or not cause trouble or confrontations with friends:
In retrospect, I am ashamed by my lack of action. Having allowed this kind of talk to pass by as if it were appropriate and true is a difficult thing to look back on. There are those who say that a joke is a joke, an offhand comment and nothing more, and that I shouldn’t take things so seriously.
The people who say these things don’t hate women, these observers say. They’re just stating their opinions or having a little fun.
I don’t think it’s fun when society accepts the degradation of others as a source of amusement. Perhaps it would be funny in a world where these comments were not so loaded, where women did not have to struggle for equality or a social environment free of fear or abuse.
For the sake of all women and girls, the silence must end.
People need to speak out when harmful sexism occurs.
Group social norms make a difference in online boards. If a poster engages in sexist conduct or uses sexist language, call them out. If the community finds the conduct disgusting and unacceptable, then online sexism will become less common, and hopefully carry over into our offline lives as well.
Feminisms is a series of weekly feminist diaries. My fellow feminists and I decided to start our own for several purposes: we wanted a place to chat with each other, we felt it was important to both share our own stories and learn from others’, and we hoped to introduce to the community a better understanding of what feminism is about.
Needless to say, we expect disagreements to arise. We have all had different experiences in life, so while we share the same labels, we don’t necessarily share the same definitions. Hopefully, we can all be patient and civil with each other, and remember that, ultimately, we’re all on the same side.