I have written a great deal here about my stupid health struggles. Yeah, I said it, stupid.
I have been skeptical of my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis since I got it. No RA factor, no damage to my joints. I guess it was a case of major denial. My doctor put me on the usual nasty meds and my RA went into remission, it seems.
Not so much now. Years later and a new rheumatologist and once again, I’ve been told, yep, it’s rheumatoid arthritis. He also agrees with the fibromyalgia diagnosis, which has made the recent RA flare so much more unbearable. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been in this much pain (And to add to it, a fun new diagnosis of adenomy0sis, a form of endometriosis).
It’s scary.
As a single working parent, things can be challenging as it is. Last week I struggled to get out of bed and get myself to work. I couldn't sleep because of the pain and I had a terrible time concentrating when I was at work. I have run out of PTO because I have been so sick in the last three months because of all three of these “chronic” health issues”.
I am lucky enough to be able to work from home this week because I have an amazing job at a one of the best companies in Country. I don’t exaggerate. I am ridiculously proud of where I work and after my divorce, I didn’t have the best job first out, but after a few job moves, I wound up where I am now. I am truly blessed. A company that is employee owned and still has great benefits as well as a wonderful work culture.
But it’s still scary.
It hurt to stay standing today as I cleaned up the kitchen and made dinner for my daughter and myself. The steroids my doctor put me on haven’t agreed with me much and aren’t working as well as I was hoping. I don’t know what I would have done if I actually would have had to physically go into work this week. I’ve had some crying fits in the last few days.
I’m exhausted.
And the pain just keeps coming.
That’s the thing about chronic health issues. They just keep coming and a lot of times, people have no idea what you’re dealing with. How can they?
But I want to ask you, when someone says they are hurting, please hear them.
When someone says they are struggling, please say you see them.
I’m not just talking about your best friend or your mother. I am talking about your coworker, your employees, acquaintances, and anyone you come across.
Just because I am not wearing a cast, I’m not in the hospital or I don’t have something serious like cancer, doesn’t mean I am not sick.
So many struggle with silent illnesses which come with so much baggage beside pain, the biggest being depression.
The best thing you can do for them is just seem them, to acknowledge their struggle, to let them know that you hear them. Be that gift of validation that we all need.