The toddler injured by a flash bang grenade during a 2014 police raid is no angel, according to a police report released today. Considering actions that included resisting arrest when taken from his crib, as well as known gang associations, the baby was properly treated as a suspect during the raid, said the police, clearing themselves.
According to testimony included in the report, when officers moved to make the arrest, the toddler wiggled and even struck out at an officer with a onesie-clad foot. Initially booked on charges of resisting arrest and assault on a police officer, the toddler was later released on a plea bargain based on time served in the intensive care unit. “The subject should have been tried as an adult,” the report states. “These kinds of punks know that they can get away with pretty much anything up to a certain age.”
Additionally, the baby was observed repeatedly flashing gang signs while in custody. Based on an analysis of three thousand different configurations of the baby’s hands over eight hours of video recorded from the hospital, police analysts identified no less than sixteen distinct hand signs from gangs across the entire United States and even some from Mexico. “The suspect’s knowledge of gang hand signs was remarkable,” the report states. “There’s no question that the subject was already building his network. The Mexico connection - that's drugs, right there. Even the name of his bed – crib - is a code word for a gang hangout.”
Computer modeling of transitive associative dynamics confirms the gang-related finding. “When you consider people who associated indirectly with the subject through chains of linked connections, several thousand criminals and gang members were very quickly found,” the report states. “Up to six degrees of linkage were used, following the generally accepted Bacon methodology, to unearth these troubling connections with some of the top criminal figures in the world today.”
Connections were found, as closely as only two or three degrees away, to people who had publicly made inciting anti-police statements. While not technically illegal yet, such statements are known to be extremely damaging. According to the report, “Evidence was found of public online statements that police procedures need improvement, and even suggestions that not every police officer always follows the law. These kind of statements need to be treated as broken windows, that can lead in the future to even more dangerous thinking and speaking.”
The baby’s likely future is even more troubling, according to law enforcement experts. Using the science of enhanced predictive demographics, police analysts estimate that the subject’s risk of having further run-ins with police is extraordinarily high.
According to police spokeswoman Iris Hineman, “People who believe, even if unjustly, that they have been a victim of police brutality, are more likely to have unfavorable interactions with law enforcement in the future. This kind of victim mentality erodes respect for the law, and requires careful monitoring. This suspect is very likely to carry this belief into adulthood, with all of the attendant risks. Given those risks, we cannot turn our back on the responsibility to provide assertive policing for this subject as well as all demographic matches.”
A compounding factor is government dependency. The report identifies repeated efforts by the subject's parents to feed off the public teat for vast amounts of money, thinly disguised as current and unspecified future medical expenses.
The report concludes by recommending vigorous action. The subject is identified as an elevated risk for future crime, and has been placed on every applicable watch list. More importantly, the report recommends monitoring responses to the case to identify other suspects. “Any person who sympathizes with this likely future criminal,” the report concludes, “has made our task easier by identifying themselves as a current threat to law enforcement.”
Notes
I struggled with the question of whether this diary is just plain too tasteless. Anything involving a small child is difficult, and in the case where a severe injury is involved, that fact immediately gets it right to the edge.
Based on doing some reading on the case, I understand that the victim's family is working hard to seek justice for the very serious harm done to their child, and I came to believe that it was worth drawing the connection between this case and the pervasive ("No Angel") pattern of blaming the victims of such attacks either directly or by association.
In other news from the U.K. ...
Nursery school staff and registered childminders must report toddlers at risk of becoming terrorists, under counter-terrorism measures proposed by the Government.
The directive is contained in a 39-page consultation document issued by the Home Office in a bid to bolster its Prevent anti-terrorism plan.