I have it on good authority from a source deep in the Obama campaign that new politics will be practiced tommorrow in the VP selection.
"Considering how FUBAR'd the country is due to George W. Bush's misgoverning, we've decided to take an unprecedented measure and name a co-VP group to help Obama run, win, and govern" David Plouffe, said in a secret memo I obtained from the campaign. "This country is so screwed up, Plouffe said, "that we'll need several VP's to help us clean up the GOP's mess. When we looked at all the candidates, it became clear one would not be enough, even just to get the White House cafeteria cleaned up let alone every department of the excecutive government."
So, make sure your text function works for a long message and your screen size on your cell phone isn't too small tommorrow, otherwise you'll be leaving out some very fine VP's from your Breaking: Obama VP chosen diaries! The selection of several VPs ensures your diaries will be longer than one or two words, so that you will be able to strain less in not meeting the FAQ requirement of 3 overly excited/disappointed substantive paragraphs.
Following the announcement after this information was leaked to me in the memo I found, the presumptive VPs had no choice but to go on TV to talk about their selections:
Hillary Clinton was pleased but bittersweet about the news, said Paul Begala. Begala stated that in his conversation with her she said, "This what I've dreamed about for a long time, or at least since I lost the primary... but it's not quite the Vice Presidency I imagined, but oh heck it'll have to do".
Joe Biden was his enthusiastic self, appearing on Hardball, he said: "You know, Chris, some might say this makes the VP office look like it's not worth a bucket of spit, but I say since it's just a part of the bucket, there's less spit, and that makes it really great. I'm pleased as punch and will work my heart out for that really clean, fresh guy, Obama, except I don't do laundry. I'll do anything but not laundry... we hire folks for that job".
Evan Bayh appeared on the Larry King show and said he was "thrilled. I've been waiting to find a way to take my career to a national level without expending effort. This gig will take much less effort than if I had to be VP all by myself, and I like that a lot. And since I can share the vice presidency, I can do a lot of it from Indiana in my home office".
Wesley Clark went on Fox to talk about his co-selection. Clark said, in between constant interruptions, "this shows what an awesome leader Barack is. We all knew it was a tough choice, but in the end, he made the best command decision and chose the best people, not one person, but the most qualified group of people. That's how to get it done, and that's what it'll take to get this country back on track-- team work. Look at McCain-- he's going to pick one out of touch rich guy in comparison. I look forward to working with Barack and the rest of my VP team as we restore greatness to America."
Virginia Governor Tim Kaine appeared on Wolf Blitzer's show and said "The great thing here is I can keep my day job as governor. Barack is an incredible innovator, and that's why we're going to defeat old John McCain".