Three Simple Words Above the Fold This Morning Will Suffice:
Happy Birthday, Rosalynn.
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Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, August 18, 2022
Note: Due to a clerical error, you now owe me $14,000. But we'll settle for half and forget this ever happened. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til World Honey Bee Day: 3
Days 'til the Maryland State Fair in Timonium: 7
Amount Joe Biden canceled in student loan debt this week: $3.9 billion
Date on which Portland, Maine's new bike-share program—200 bicycles at 40 locations—started: 8/15/22
Number of NBA games that’ll be played on Election Day, so fans will be encouraged to go vote instead: 0
Age of actress Gina Lollobrigida, who is running for the Senate in Italy: 95
Estimated year when humans started practicing dentistry: 7000 BC
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
A recent Ku Klux Klan rally in Austin produced an eccentric counter-demonstration.
When the fifty Klansmen appeared (they were bused in from Waco) in front of the state capitol, they were greeted by five thousand locals who had turned out for a “Moon the Klan” rally.
Citizens dropped trou both singly and in groups, occasionally producing a splendid wave effect.
It was a swell do.
—June, 1993
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Funny lookin’ dawg...
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CHEERS to Build Back Better. Let's not kid ourselves, that's the real name of the bill that President Biden signed into law Tuesday. Health care improvements…major climate initiatives, including lots of green jobs…deficit reduction (as if anyone cares about that, but whatever)…more taxes on the rich…IRS enforcement of rich people's taxes…and maybe a tiny smidgeon of inflation reduction? Not bad, Joe. Not bad at all. One of the members of the House who voted for the Inflation Reduction Act is Rep. Chellie Pingree from District 1 in the Great State Of Maine. In an email dripping with rational exuberance, my congresswoman outlined what she thinks are the biggest BFDs in the freshly-birthed law (that, ironically, Republicans tried their damndest to abort):
» Extends premium subsidies to keep the ACA Marketplace affordable for Maine families
» Empowers Medicare to directly negotiate drug prices, impacting nearly 350,000 beneficiaries in Maine
» Caps Medicare patients’ out of pocket costs at $2,000 per year
» Invests in conservation programs to help farmers and ranchers address climate change
» Supports climate-smart forestry with a $5 billion investment
» Invests $5 billion Climate Pollution Reduction Grants for state planning and implementation of greenhouse gas reduction programs, which will help Maine achieve its goal of carbon neutrality by 2045
» Provides a 10-year extension on consumer tax credits to make homes energy efficient and lower costs for heat pumps, rooftop solar, electric, and water heaters
There's a ton of stuff like that in the law, and now Democrats running for office in every state and every district have a boatload of kitchen-table goodies they can promote: jobs that pay well, cheaper and more comprehensive health care, fixing the potholes, cheaper cars and, as a bonus, defending democracy from a vicious cult led by a guy willing to sell nuclear secrets to the highest bidder and a Supreme Court majority whose primary source of inspiration is 13th-century witch hunters. On the other hand, Republicans have, um—[checks notes]—Hunter's laptop. Choose wisely, America.
CHEERS to rope-a-doping the Russkis. Mark Sumner's (and Kos's) updates on Vladimir Putin's Waterloo remain must-reads. Utterly fascinating to watch the mighty Russian military get owned by Ukraine day after day, week after week, and now month after month. Yesterday Mark summed up the current situation with an apt boxing analogy:
In both real life and on film, there’s a frequent pairing that makes for a classic confrontation. On one side is the fearsome slugger. The guy who throws a punch that can take down an ox and whose scowling visage marks a ruthless, straight-ahead confidence that no one can stand against them.
In the opposite corner is the boxer who can “stick and move,” but, more importantly, keep his brain engaged along with his fists. A few rounds later, the ox-feller is really confused about why this guy across from him just refuses to go down, and that other guy is just getting ready to attack.
That kind of seems like where we are with Ukraine. Russia continues to stagger forward, throwing only wild haymakers, while Ukraine jabs, sidesteps, and looks for an opening.
I'd say it's past time for Putin to throw in the towel, but thanks to economic sanctions Russia has run out of towels. Just this once, we'll accept potato.
CHEERS to Grrrl Power. 102 years ago today, on August 18, 1920, the 19th Amendment to the Constitution—giving women the right to vote—was ratified. That's right—you menfolk ratified the Constitution in 1788 and it only took you 132 years to get your asses off the couch and make this act of equality a reality. Now if you'll just takeout the garbage and fix the kitchen sink, you might get some nookie.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to news worth making noise over. Here's yet another addition to the list of wrongs that have been righted during the Biden administration: The FDA says there'll be no more hoop-jumping just to be able to hear stuff:
Adults with perceived mild to moderate hearing impairment will be able to buy hearing aids directly from stores, pharmacies and online retailers—no prescription or doctor's appointment required—as soon as mid-October.
That's thanks to a final rule issued by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration on Tuesday and set to take effect in two months, following years of campaigning by lawmakers and advocates. It creates a new category of over-the-counter hearing aids, which the Biden administration says will make the devices more accessible and affordable for millions of Americans.
The news is especially good for elderly couples who've been together a long time: the new FDA ruling includes devices with the priceless setting known as "selective hearing."
JEERS to the party of the job killers. Let's see—as of 2022 the Republicans hate teachers, nurses, scientists, police, the FBI, NATO, Ukraine, democracy, and the rule of law. And now we can apparently add one more thing to their list: jobs???
It is unusual for a U.S. senator to publicly warn Americans not to apply for a job and threaten to eliminate it.
But that's what Senate Republican campaign chair Rick Scott, R-Fla., did this week, publishing an open letter encouraging job seekers not to pursue new IRS positions, vowing that Republicans, who hope to take control of Congress next year, will quickly "defund" those jobs.
Having completed his obligation to be a total dick, Senator Scott returned to the Everglades to constrict and devour an alligator.
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 18, 2012
JEERS to Governor Paul LePage: International Idiot of Mystery. Yes, Maine's Teapublican governor is at it again. At a meeting of Republicans—secretly taped, which is how we found out about this—he indicated that he intended to call a special session of the legislature so it can do something presumably nefarious:
“I’m just trying to do what other Republican states have done this year and I gotta wait before I say too much more about it, but what I’m telling you is this: If we get this done, the state of Maine will be on the right track for the next 10 years,” LePage says on the tape. He said Republicans will have to do it on their own. “I think we can get it done in about a day and the Democrats, if you think they hate me now—Wow,” he says.
His comments were so loaded with cuckoo-lookoo that even Republicans are saying, "Whoa, dude...what the fuck?" So everybody's in the dark and nobody's even remotely looking forward to whatever turd he's about to lay. Union busting? Voter suppression? Oil rigs off our coast? All we know for sure is: the stupid will burn. [8/18/22 Update: Whatever it was, no one knows what it was but we all agree it was stupid.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a big pain in MAGA’s butt. Belated Happy Birthday to Rep. Maxine Waters, Democrat from the Great State of One Fifth Of The World’s Economy! The most senior of our black members of Congress and chairwoman of the House Financial Services Committee turned 85 Monday. Waters has never been shy about speaking her mind, and she saves her biggest barbs for Cadet Bone Spurs, and it’s been a pleasure watching her fire her rhetorical arrows with a joyous Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! right where it hurts the most: his ego…
"The most deplorable person I've ever met in my life."
"Don't forget, this unpatriotic president was unwilling to fight for his own country, using deferments & bone spurs to dodge military service."
"A bully, an egotistical maniac, a liar and someone who did not need to be President."
"He doesn't care about anybody but himself. He's earning money on his golf clubs, hotels, and Trump Org deals while skimming Americans' money."
“He claims that he's bringing people together but make no mistake, he is a dangerous, unprincipled, divisive, and shameful racist.” … “Trump has made it clear—it is now the White Supremacists' [White] House."
"When I get through with Donald Trump, he's going to wish he had been impeached."
For your daily Moments of Maxine, follow her on Twitter here. Happy belated birthday, Congresswoman. Remind me to never get on your bad side.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Lindsey Graham Under Mistaken Impression Bill in Portland Maine Gives F*ck What He Thinks
—Wonkette
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