Aldous J Pennyfarthing

Aldous J Pennyfarthing https://www.dailykos.com/user/Aldous J Pennyfarthing/rss/index.xml News Community Action Copyright 2005 - Steal what you want Fri, 07 May 2021 15:05:33 +0000 Fri, 07 May 2021 15:05:33 +0000 Daily Kos rss@dailykos.com (Daily Kos) Daily Kos rss@dailykos.com (Daily Kos) Not guilty by reason of Sean Hannity: Insurrectionist's lawyer claims he suffered from 'Foxitus' https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/6/2029310/-Not-guilty-by-reason-of-Sean-Hannity-Insurrectionist-s-lawyer-claims-he-suffered-from-Foxitus The gendarmes are still rounding up the Trumpaloompas who tried to steal our democracy on Jan. 6, and by now it’s clear that these Fisher Price militiamen have lost much of their revolutionary fervor after being placed under the klieg lights of the criminal justice system lo these many months. So you get lots of weird excuses from lawyers attempting to explain why all these nice white folks went all <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLyOj_QD4a4" target="_blank">Leeroy Jenkins</a> on our republic earlier this year even after we’d pulled off the <a href="https://thehill.com/policy/cybersecurity/528323-krebs-doubles-down-after-threat-2020-election-was-most-secure-in-us" target="_blank">most secure election in our country’s history</a>. But this excuse takes the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/apr/12/trump-xi-jinping-chocolate-cake-syria-strikes" target="_blank">(beautiful piece of chocolate) cake</a>:  <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;Antonio talked to the feds with his lawyer pretty early, and told them he saw “death” in the eyes of D.C. Police Officer Mike Fanone as the mob pulled the officer into the crowd. &lt;a href="https://t.co/jbtSEYIYiF"&gt;https://t.co/jbtSEYIYiF&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="https://t.co/SWtGKDVuLz"&gt;pic.twitter.com/SWtGKDVuLz&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; Ryan J. Reilly (@ryanjreilly) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/ryanjreilly/status/1390380023450935297?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;May 6, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">Antonio talked to the feds with his lawyer pretty early, and told them he saw “death” in the eyes of D.C. Police Officer Mike Fanone as the mob pulled the officer into the crowd. <a href="https://t.co/jbtSEYIYiF">https://t.co/jbtSEYIYiF</a> <a href="https://t.co/SWtGKDVuLz">pic.twitter.com/SWtGKDVuLz</a>— Ryan J. Reilly (@ryanjreilly) <a href="https://twitter.com/ryanjreilly/status/1390380023450935297?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 6, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> For the nontweeters: <blockquote> Attorney for Capitol defendant Anthony Antonio said his client had “Foxitus” and “Foxmania” from watching six months of Fox News and started “believing what was being fed to him” by Fox News and the president. </blockquote> Hmm, when I watch Fox News, I just get liver damage, because I can’t get through 20 minutes of Tucker Carlson without downing at least a fifth of Scotch and stabbing myself in the abdomen with the broken bottle. But, hey, our bodies are all different, aren’t they? Good luck, Anthony! Not sure that “Foxitus” is a real condition, but if it is you’re certainly not alone. Maybe we can start a GoFundMe for you. Or at the very least make sure your ailment is counted as a preexisting condition under Obamacare.  *Note: I saw the “not guilty by reason of Sean Hannity” bon mot in some saucy wag’s tweet. It’s not original with me, but it was too good to pass up. Unfortunately, I can no longer find the tweet I stole it from. If it’s you, step right up to claim your free soft pretzel and pair of Alvin Styczynski tickets. It made comedian Sarah Silverman say <a href="https://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman/status/1247019434155393024" target="_blank">“THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT”</a> and prompted author Stephen King to shout <a href="https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/1247567117035110405" target="_blank">“Pulitzer Prize!!!”</a> (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Asshat-Farewell-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B08F9NBJ55/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=goodbye%2C+asshat&qid=1619384893&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Asshat-Farewell-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B08F9NBJ55/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=goodbye%2C+asshat&qid=1619384893&sr=8-1" target="_blank">to Donald Trump</a>, at <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B083BSQX9N?ref_=dbs_p_mng_rwt_ser_shvlr&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">this link</a>. Just $12.96 for the pack of 4! Or if you prefer a test drive, you can <a href="https://rolls.bublup.com/view/841a9995-3928-4d5e-a89e-8e43d0882589" target="_blank">download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE</a>. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AnthonyAntonio CapitolRiot DonaldTrump Foxitus Foxmania FoxNews Insurrection January6 Recommended SeanHannity TheBigLie trump TuckerCarlson _2029310 Thu, 06 May 2021 23:58:04 +0000 GOP pollster on 2022: 'Donald Trump single-handedly may cause people not to vote' https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/6/2029235/-GOP-pollster-on-2022-Donald-Trump-single-handedly-may-cause-people-not-to-vote Normally it’s a given that the party that wins the White House will lose congressional seats in subsequent midterm elections. In 2010, Democrats got clobbered after Barack Obama’s historic 2008 victory. And a blue wave took hold in 2018, almost certainly in response to Donald Trump’s 2016 <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNnCL0q3EuI" target="_blank" title="">creepy-twins, blood-elevator Overlook Hotel red wave</a>. One notable exception was 1998, when <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1998/11/05/us/1998-elections-congress-overview-gop-scramble-over-blame-for-poor-showing-polls.html" target="_blank" title="">Democrats actually picked up seats</a>, presumably as a result of GOP overreach and hypocrisy. Will 2022 be another anomaly? It could be, because this time the X factor is a defeated would-be dictator. A loser who refuses to go away, refuses to concede the election he lost, refuses to eat his vegetables, won’t stop spitting out his binky, and recently launched a new cutting-edge (for 2001) internet platform—because Facebook won’t let him fundraise, Twitter won’t let him post, and there’s still no Rosetta stone with which to decipher the shit-smears his fans left on the Capitol walls during his Jan. 6 bumblefuck putsch—though I’m certain Trump’s new blog will provide fresh clues for us day after day after day. (Assuming we go there to read it, which I don’t recommend.) rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) 2022 2022midterms DonaldTrump Election2020 ElectionFraud FrankLuntz Georgia Recommended TheBigLie trump _2029235 Thu, 06 May 2021 18:00:07 +0000 Arizona audit is checking ballots for bamboo, because they obviously came from Asia https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/5/2029137/-Arizona-election-auditor-is-checking-ballots-for-bamboo-because-they-obviously-came-from-China Okay, I knew the current <a href="https://www.politifact.com/article/2021/may/04/ask-politifact-why-are-arizona-republicans-auditin/" target="_blank">Arizona election audit</a> was a wacky cavalcade of feckless tomfoolery, but I never expected this. They’re checking for bamboo in Arizona’s 2020 election ballots because they may have been smuggled in from Asia. No, seriously.  Say, maybe they should toss all the uncounted ballots in the panda paddock at the Phoenix Zoo to see which ones the li’l critters find most delicious. If they scarf down more Biden-Harris ballots than Trump-Pence ballots, you’ve got your proof. Finally! A break in the case! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) Arizona ArizonaAudit DonaldTrump Election2020 JohnBrakey Recommended TheBigLie trump _2029137 Wed, 05 May 2021 23:21:55 +0000 CNN's Jake Tapper takes on the GOP's new lyin' kings in wake of Liz Cheney dustup https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/5/2029077/-CNN-s-Jake-Tapper-takes-on-the-GOP-s-new-lyin-kings-in-wake-of-Liz-Cheney-dustup In a lengthy discussion on the brewing internecine war between Republicans, Jake Tapper stood firmly on the side of truth. Appearing on Tuesday’s edition of CNN’s New Day, Tapper noted that Republicans, for the most part, simply aren’t good-faith actors anymore. Of course, while the truth is fairly easy to suss out these days, grasping even a gossamer strand of it seems like a Sisyphean challenge for Republicans. The party’s epistemological polestar is now Donald Trump, who is to truth what French’s mustard is to French cuisine.  As Tapper notes, if we’re going to have a society, we have to agree on certain facts—and one of those is that Donald Trump lost the 2020 presidential election. An example of an opinion would be that Trump lost because he looks like <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Ed-Gein" target="_blank" title="">Ed Gein</a>’s first attempt at upholstering a chaise lounge. Again, that’s just an opinion. But it clearly holds more weight these days than Republicans’ preferred “facts.” Republicans are at an inflection point now. On the side of consensus reality is Liz Cheney, the House Republican Caucus chair, who appears to believe democracy is worth saving. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DonaldTrump Election2020 GOP JakeTapper KevinMcCarthy LizCheney Recommended Republicans TheBigLie trump _2029077 Wed, 05 May 2021 18:15:34 +0000 What could be funnier than Trump refusing to pay Rudy when the poor sap needs him the most? https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/4/2028982/-What-could-be-funnier-than-Donald-Trump-refusing-to-pay-Rudy-when-the-dude-needs-the-money-the-most So Rudy <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwzaxUF0k18" target="_blank" title="">“Up From His Head Come a Bubblin’ Crude”</a> Giuliani, who represented Donald Trump in his effort to overturn the 2020 election, is now learning where Trump’s loyalties really lie—i.e., with the Adderall fairies whispering in his ear 24/7 about the impudent hobgoblins trying steal his pouch of magic beans. Donald Trump <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2016/06/09/donald-trump-unpaid-bills-republican-president-laswuits/85297274/" target="_blank" title="">doesn’t pay his bills</a>. When will these knuckleheads ever learn? Did Rudy think his preternatural ability to gross out his own intestinal flukes would somehow make Trump more likely to pay him? It hardly matters that you’d get better legal advice from an AOL furry chatroom. The man did the, erm, “work.” He deserves his payday. But don’t tell Trump that. He’s stiffing Rudy. Not because Rudy did a terrible job—which he clearly did. But because this is how Trump treats everyone he’s indebted to. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DonaldTrump Election2020 JoeBiden LegalFees PresidentBiden Recommended RudyGiuliani trump _2028982 Wed, 05 May 2021 00:12:14 +0000 Study: Non-wealthy to benefit most from Biden's tax and spending plans, especially in red states https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/4/2028910/-Study-Non-wealthy-to-benefit-most-from-Biden-s-tax-and-spending-plans-especially-in-red-states For those who aren’t policy wonks—and who somehow can’t decide whether Joe Biden is a compassionate family man or a rapacious baby’s blood aficionado—it can be difficult to suss out the real benefits of Biden’s recent economic proposals. Luckily, <a href="https://finance.yahoo.com/news/few-pay-higher-taxes-under-biden-plan-155303405.html" target="_blank" title="">new analysis from the </a><a href="https://finance.yahoo.com/news/few-pay-higher-taxes-under-biden-plan-155303405.html" target="_blank" title="">Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy (ITEP)</a> spells out the pluses (for the vast majority of Americans) and the minor minuses (for the ultra-wealthy) pretty clearly. Remember when Donald Trump was ceaselessly promoting his <a href="https://www.cbpp.org/research/federal-tax/fundamentally-flawed-2017-tax-law-largely-leaves-low-and-moderate-income" target="_blank" title="">2017 tax scam</a>? At one rally, he stood smugly—his sweat glands hissing and churning like berserk wolverines caught on jumbo glue traps—and lied his arse off about who would benefit from his plan. "We're targeting relief to working families," the fake Santy Claus lied. "We will make sure benefits are focused on the middle class, the working men and women, not the highest-income earners." Trump even personalized his message, insisting, “It's not good for me, believe me." Needless to say, those were lies—and brazen ones at that. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AmericanFamiliesPlan DonaldTrump Infrastructure JoeBiden MiddleClass Poverty PresidentBiden ProgressiveTax Taxes taxscam trump _2028910 Tue, 04 May 2021 18:40:13 +0000 'You scrunch-faced fear baboon': John Oliver takes on Tucker Carlson's vaccine disinformation https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/3/2028817/--You-scrunch-faced-fear-baboon-John-Oliver-takes-on-Tucker-Carlson-s-vaccine-disinformation Pennyfarthing doth doff his cap to John Oliver, the agreeable British bloke who plies his trade on this side of the pond to our immense and perduring delight.  Oliver’s HBO show, Last Week Tonight, expertly meshes topical comedy with must-see segments on vitally important issues. It’s like 60 Minutes with less Morley Safer and better jokes. (I know Morley Safer is no longer with us, but he’s a cultural touchstone for news nerds of a certain age, like me.) On the May 2 edition of Last Week Tonight, Oliver presented a segment on vaccines, and he really tore into Fox News’ Tucker Carlson, the frozen TV dinner of frozen TV dinner heirs. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) Coronavirus Covid-19 FoxNews HBO herdimmunity JohnOliver LastWeekTonight Recommended TuckerCarlson Vaccines _2028817 Mon, 03 May 2021 23:55:42 +0000 Former Obama ethics czar: Giuliani raid is 'a red flag for Trump' https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/3/2028762/-Former-Obama-ethics-czar-Giuliani-raid-is-a-red-flag-for-Trump I’m not a vindictive person. I’m really not. Certain things I’ve endured in my life I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, such as depression, debilitating flu, and the Carrot Top Spa Day Experience in Vegas. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Not sure what I was thinking there. That said, Donald Trump needs to pay for his crimes—for everyone’s sake. I doubt there’s a hell, but if there is I hope it’s nothing but energy-saving low-flow golden showers for all eternity. And let him be trapped on an island of cruciferous vegetables surrounded by a kale smoothie sea. While I don’t want to overdo it on Donald Trump mental torture porn, it’s hard not to feel a bit of a tingle when you read things like the following from former Obama ethics czar and Trump impeachment counsel Norman Eisen. Writing about the FBI raid on former Trump lawyer and bemused shrunken apple head Rudy Giuliani, Eisen takes stock of Trump’s potential legal jeopardy. <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2021/05/03/donald-trump-era-accountability-giuliani-fbi-ukraine-column/4903004001/" target="_blank">USA Today:</a> <blockquote> The raids of Giuliani's home and office last week could produce additional direct, contemporaneous evidence tying him directly to Trump’s alleged shakedown of Ukraine. Texts, calls, notes or other evidence might very well be on the devices that were seized. Normally, the two men’s communications would be privileged as part of the attorney-client relationship. But under the <a href="https://www.americanbar.org/groups/litigation/committees/business-torts-unfair-competition/practice/2018/tips-for-addressing-crime-fraud-exception-to-attorney-client-privilege-in-civil-cases/" target="_blank">crime-fraud exception</a>, if Giuliani was part of the former president’s alleged crimes, attorney-client privilege would not shield his communications relating to this misconduct.  </blockquote> Oh, yeah. The Ukraine shakedown. Another thing Trump royally fucked up. The guy’s not even a competent criminal. Why do they worship him so? (That doesn’t mean he won’t get away with this, of course—just that he clumsily stepped in another dung heap he didn’t need to go anywhere near.) <blockquote> This all has profound implications not only for Giuliani but also for the president he served. If there is damning evidence recovered through the warrants, it could implicate Trump directly on Ukraine-related misconduct. Alternatively, the evidence could strengthen the case against Giuliani to the point where he “flips,” turning on Trump and testifying against him in this matter or others. And quite apart from the Giuliani case, the raids signal that DOJ is going to pursue wrongdoers irrespective of political considerations. Because of the broad range of <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/18/politics/full-mueller-report-pdf/index.html" target="_blank">potential misconduct</a> by Trump, both as president and <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/11/07/trump-vulnerable-he-faces-lawsuits-without-presidential-immunity/6056288002/" target="_blank">before he took office</a>, that should send a shiver down his spine as well.   </blockquote> I happen to think Trump is a bit too phlegmatic to feel “shivers” down his spine. Looks to me like the only thing flowing through his nervous system is nougat. But, yeah, he experiences fear, that’s for sure. His entire reelection campaign was the functional equivalent of a 5-year-old attempting to flush a poopy Underoo in the school lavatory.  Again, it’s possible Trump will shuffle off this mortal coil before experiencing any sort of real comeuppance. But if he’s hounded by fears of legal repercussions for the rest of his life, that would be a pretty neat, too. Please proceed, powers-that-be. It made comedian Sarah Silverman say <a href="https://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman/status/1247019434155393024" target="_blank">“THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT”</a> and prompted author Stephen King to shout <a href="https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/1247567117035110405" target="_blank">“Pulitzer Prize!!!”</a> (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Asshat-Farewell-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B08F9NBJ55/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=goodbye%2C+asshat&qid=1619384893&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Asshat-Farewell-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B08F9NBJ55/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=goodbye%2C+asshat&qid=1619384893&sr=8-1" target="_blank">to Donald Trump</a>, at <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B083BSQX9N?ref_=dbs_p_mng_rwt_ser_shvlr&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">this link</a>. Just $12.96 for the pack of 4! Or if you prefer a test drive, you can <a href="https://rolls.bublup.com/view/841a9995-3928-4d5e-a89e-8e43d0882589" target="_blank" title="">download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE</a>. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DepartmentofJustice DonaldTrump FederalBureauofInvestigation Recommended RudyGiuliani trump _2028762 Mon, 03 May 2021 18:01:10 +0000 'Trump has never actually been wrong': The MAGA cult has eaten the Republican Party https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/2/2028638/--Trump-has-never-actually-been-wrong-The-MAGA-cult-has-eaten-the-Republican-Party I used to occasionally argue with MAGAs before I realized I’d have better luck trying to convince Wile E. Coyote not to jump off the cliff in his Acme Batman Suit. He always jumps, and it always ends in disaster. I’ve never understood how you can spend more than a minute watching Donald Trump and not know he’s a con man. From day one, his administration held roughly the same promise as a Groupon for a Tijuana donkey show—and it still managed to disappoint. MAGAs are sure Trump was sent by God, but if there’s any kind of divine intercession happening, it’s a lusty supernatural dick punch. And, anyway, God was unable to stop Joe Biden’s inauguration, so there’s that.  But it’s now an article of faith among Republicans that the 2020 election was rigged against Donald Trump—though somehow not against Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and Susan Collins. In fact, a recent CNN poll showed that <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2021/04/30/politics/cnn-poll-voting-rights/index.html" target="_blank">70% of Republicans still think Biden didn’t legitimately win the election</a>.  rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) ArizonaAudit BigLie DonaldTrump Election2020 GOP MAGA Recommended Republicans stopthesteal trump _2028638 Sun, 02 May 2021 18:50:15 +0000 Krugman: If Biden passes the American Families Plan, Republicans are screwed https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/5/1/2028517/-Krugman-If-Biden-passes-the-American-Families-Plan-Republicans-are-screwed The raison d'être of the Republican Party for much of the past 100 years has been to slam the brakes on anything that would make the poor and middle class feel more secure and prosperous.  Look at the list of popular government programs and initiatives they’ve decried as “socialism”: unemployment insurance, Social Security, disability insurance, Medicare, the ACA’s protections for people with preexisting conditions—the list goes on. And now you have Joe Biden’s ambitious <a href="https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2021/03/31/fact-sheet-the-american-jobs-plan/" target="_blank" title="">American Jobs Plan</a> and <a href="https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2021/04/28/fact-sheet-the-american-families-plan/" target="_blank" title="">American Families Plan</a>, which, to hear Republicans tell it, were concocted in the same dank mausoleum where Hugo Chavez built the Dominion voting machines out of obsidian, mummy detritus, and 11 secret burial herbs and spices.  It will be tough to pass both those plans in their current form, much less one of them. But if Democrats do manage to pull it off, Republicans are in for a world of hurt. That’s the conclusion Princeton economist and Nobel laureate Paul Krugman made in <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/29/opinion/child-care-biden.html" target="_blank" title="">his April 29 New York Times column</a>, anyway. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AmericanFamilesPlan AmericanJobsPlan childcare Denmark Germany HugoChavez JoeBiden NewYorkTimes PaulKrugman PresidentBiden Recommended SocialDemocracy Socialism _2028517 Sat, 01 May 2021 18:30:07 +0000 Sad clown in frowzy suit shares febrile election fantasies to tepid applause https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/30/2028442/-Sad-clown-in-frowzy-suit-shares-febrile-election-fantasies-to-tepid-applause Be frank with me. Am I laughing at this so hard because I’m high, or is it really this funny? This is like the guy at McDonald’s who walks up to every customer he sees to tell them he got shorted a McNugget. How many years before he turns into Gollum? Someone just sit him down in front of Matlock, pour him a glass of Ovaltine, and at the end of the day maybe sweep up the larvae husks that have fallen out of his ears. This dude has jumped the SharkNADO, yo: <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;The one time leader of the free world who now lives alone in a hotel sharing buffets, common areas, and staff with strangers, yearns for attention and relevance so badly, he now stands on a patio step every night ranting to tens of people about a 6 month old election that he lost &lt;a href="https://t.co/xIuZ7jAkZD"&gt;pic.twitter.com/xIuZ7jAkZD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; Mystery Solvent (@MysterySolvent) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/MysterySolvent/status/1388184669821313026?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;April 30, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">The one time leader of the free world who now lives alone in a hotel sharing buffets, common areas, and staff with strangers, yearns for attention and relevance so badly, he now stands on a patio step every night ranting to tens of people about a 6 month old election that he lost <a href="https://t.co/xIuZ7jAkZD">pic.twitter.com/xIuZ7jAkZD</a>— Mystery Solvent (@MysterySolvent) <a href="https://twitter.com/MysterySolvent/status/1388184669821313026?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 30, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> Holy shit. Have you ever seen anything this pathetic? It made comedian Sarah Silverman say <a href="https://twitter.com/SarahKSilverman/status/1247019434155393024" target="_blank" title="">“THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT”</a> and prompted author Stephen King to shout <a href="https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/1247567117035110405" target="_blank">“Pulitzer Prize!!!”</a> (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Asshat-Farewell-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B08F9NBJ55/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=goodbye%2C+asshat&qid=1619384893&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Asshat-Farewell-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B08F9NBJ55/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=goodbye%2C+asshat&qid=1619384893&sr=8-1" target="_blank">to Donald Trump</a>, at <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B083BSQX9N?ref_=dbs_p_mng_rwt_ser_shvlr&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank" title="">this link</a>. Just $12.96 for the pack of 4! Or if you prefer a test drive, you can <a href="https://rolls.bublup.com/view/841a9995-3928-4d5e-a89e-8e43d0882589" target="_blank" title="">download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE</a>. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DonaldTrump Recommended sadclown trump _2028442 Sat, 01 May 2021 02:39:40 +0000 'Stop the Steal' lawmaker who was in D.C. on Jan. 6 is now auditing ballots in Arizona https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/30/2028416/--Stop-the-Steal-supporter-who-was-in-D-C-on-Jan-6-is-now-checking-ballots-in-Arizona For some reason I don’t have complete faith in this vote audit they’re performing in Arizona. For one thing, <a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2021/04/26/republicans-arizona-vote-audit-florida-484737" target="_blank">hardly anyone heard of Cyber Ninjas</a>, the company that’s performing the audit, before this farce commenced. For another, the company is named “Cyber Ninjas.” That’s like going with a wealth management firm called Sticky Icky OG Kush LLC. If there isn’t a table of kids in the corner of the Veterans Memorial Coliseum coloring in official ballots like they’re Denny’s placemats right now, I’ll be kind of surprised, honestly. You’d get better results tossing the ballots in the Grand Canyon and assuming they’ll sort themselves into Biden/Trump votes by force of gravity, as crayon is presumably heavier than ink.  But it wasn’t enough simply to run a nakedly partisan and politically motivated audit of the election that Biden clearly won (nationally and in Arizona). Oh, no. You need a pro-Trump “Stop the Steal” aficionado to partake as well—otherwise, what has this all been about, anyway? Seems an Arizona Republic reporter was kicked out of the Veterans Memorial Coliseum on Friday after taking pictures of Rep. Anthony Kern, a former Arizona state lawmaker who was shown sitting at a ballot-counting table in front of a stand that held a ballot. Audit organizers claimed that the photo went against a rule prohibiting such photos, though nothing significant was visible on the ballot shown on the photo. Of course, the hinky part of this isn’t that a reporter was snapping pics; it’s that Kern was anywhere within sniffing distance of this certified shit-show. <a href="https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/arizona/2021/04/30/ryan-randazzo-escorted-from-arizona-audit-site-after-tweet-former-state-rep-anthony-kern/4892470001/" target="_blank">The Arizona Republic:</a> <blockquote> The selection of Kern, a candidate in last year's election, to work on the recount adds to questions about what has been an opaque and changing process for handling the 2.1 million ballots Maricopa County voters cast in last year's general election. Kern, who was defeated in an election bid in November, <a href="https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/arizona/2021/01/26/mark-finchem-anthony-kern-wont-release-phone-records-capitol-riot/4265465001/" target="_blank">was active in "Stop the Steal" efforts</a>. He also signed a letter with several other Republican lawmakers urging Congress not to accept the presidential electors selected by Arizona voters. And he was in Washington, D.C., on Jan. 6 to speak to a rally outside the U.S. Capitol on the same day a mob stormed the building. </blockquote> Sheesh. Well this audit just lost all the credibility it had! While Kern isn’t counting ballots for his own failed election bid, he’s no more unbiased when it comes to Trump’s defeat than he is with respect to his own—despite Cyber Ninjas’ assurances: <blockquote> But the CEO of Cyber Ninjas, the Florida-based firm the Arizona Senate has hired to oversee the process, told reporters last week that workers were screened to ensure “there was nothing on their social media or other details that showed strong opinions one way or another.” </blockquote> Okay, then. Well, that’s clearly bullshit. <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;Looks like we have former AZ lawmaker Anthony Kern reviewing ballots &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/azauditpool?src=hash&amp;amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;#azauditpool&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="https://t.co/lCr7Cpy5MS"&gt;pic.twitter.com/lCr7Cpy5MS&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; Ryan Randazzo (@utilityreporter) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/utilityreporter/status/1388179799198162945?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;April 30, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">Looks like we have former AZ lawmaker Anthony Kern reviewing ballots <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/azauditpool?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#azauditpool</a> <a href="https://t.co/lCr7Cpy5MS">pic.twitter.com/lCr7Cpy5MS</a>— Ryan Randazzo (@utilityreporter) <a href="https://twitter.com/utilityreporter/status/1388179799198162945?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 30, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;Well, a man in a cowboy hat and a badge that said Wake TSI just came over, asked if I tweeted the picture of Anthony Kern, and when I said yes he escorted me out of the building and said my press privileges were “revoked”&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; Ryan Randazzo (@utilityreporter) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/utilityreporter/status/1388198274377469955?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;April 30, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">Well, a man in a cowboy hat and a badge that said Wake TSI just came over, asked if I tweeted the picture of Anthony Kern, and when I said yes he escorted me out of the building and said my press privileges were “revoked”— Ryan Randazzo (@utilityreporter) <a href="https://twitter.com/utilityreporter/status/1388198274377469955?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 30, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> So, yeah. There’s that. And this: <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;UPDATE I deleted retweet that showed ballot at audit table where ex GOP State Rep. Anthony Kern was counting ballots. Media agreed not to show ballots when shooting images/video at Coliseum. But point remains: Today, Kern counting ballots. Jan. 6, he was at Capitol insurrection. &lt;a href="https://t.co/ZGy0Ds3JjV"&gt;pic.twitter.com/ZGy0Ds3JjV&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; Brahm Resnik (@brahmresnik) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/brahmresnik/status/1388212363212382208?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;April 30, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">UPDATE I deleted retweet that showed ballot at audit table where ex GOP State Rep. Anthony Kern was counting ballots. Media agreed not to show ballots when shooting images/video at Coliseum. But point remains: Today, Kern counting ballots. Jan. 6, he was at Capitol insurrection. <a href="https://t.co/ZGy0Ds3JjV">pic.twitter.com/ZGy0Ds3JjV</a>— Brahm Resnik (@brahmresnik) <a href="https://twitter.com/brahmresnik/status/1388212363212382208?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 30, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> And this: <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;In DC supporting &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;@realDonaldTrump&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/CNN?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;@CNN&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/FoxNews?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;@FoxNews&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/MSNBC?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;@MSNBC&lt;/a&gt; are spewing lies again. &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/truth?src=hash&amp;amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;#truth&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="https://t.co/MeZ8bEq9mG"&gt;pic.twitter.com/MeZ8bEq9mG&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; Anthony Kern (@anthonykernAZ) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/anthonykernAZ/status/1346910038284140549?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;January 6, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">In DC supporting <a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@realDonaldTrump</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/CNN?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@CNN</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/FoxNews?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@FoxNews</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/MSNBC?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@MSNBC</a> are spewing lies again. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/truth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#truth</a> <a href="https://t.co/MeZ8bEq9mG">pic.twitter.com/MeZ8bEq9mG</a>— Anthony Kern (@anthonykernAZ) <a href="https://twitter.com/anthonykernAZ/status/1346910038284140549?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 6, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> No one on the planet other than the derpity-derps who are already convinced Trump was robbed will believe these results, of course. But that doesn’t mean this travesty won’t further undermine faith in our elections and lead to another raft of racist voter restriction bills. Republicans, think about it. The only reasonable way to protest phantom voter fraud is to stop participating in these farcical elections. Don’t vote! That’ll show us.  ”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry." — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08F9NBJ55?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_3&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Lunatic-obscenely-letters-ebook/dp/B07BZ5MM2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524886077&sr=8-1&keywords=dear+f+cking+lunatic" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Lunatic</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0826YPJC7/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2UAN74AXGEOSW&keywords=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing&qid=1575235698&sprefix=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-4" target="_blank">Dear Pr*sident A**clown</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Moron-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B07Q5XTQGF/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1554334938&refinements=p_27%3AAldous+J.+Pennyfarthing&s=digital-text&sr=1-1&text=Aldous+J.+Pennyfarthing" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Moron</a>, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AnthonyKern Arizona ArizonaAudit CapitolRiot DonaldTrump Insurrection January6 JoeBiden Recommended stopthesteal trump _2028416 Sat, 01 May 2021 00:25:55 +0000 Our 'Fraidy of Perpetual Toadying, Mike Pence, is *still* sucking up to Trump https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/30/2028349/-Our-Fraidy-of-Perpetual-Toadying-aka-Mike-Pence-is-still-sucking-up-to-Trump No one has ever tried to have me killed before (that I know of), but if someone did, I doubt I’d sing hosannas and paeans to him mere months after he’d sent a mob to my workplace to murder me—or after he’d ignored my plaintive cries for help when said mob started chanting “Hang Aldous J. Pennyfarthing!” (Given the awkwardness of the phrasing, I have to believe I’m safe from such rabble, assuming they don’t discover my real name, Aldous Johann Saxe-Gotha-Coburg-Pennyfarthing IV.) Then again, I’m not Mike Pence, the resident intestinal fluke to our tripe-heap of an ex-pr*sident. Lickspittle of the Century award recipient Michael R. Pence is back at it again, praising Donald Trump after Trump left him for maimed and then insulted his honor again and again (calling him a <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-mcconnell-pence-vaccine-rant-b1829700.html" target="_blank">coward</a>, for one thing) in the wake of the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection. From <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/29/us/politics/pence-speech-biden-trump.html?smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur" target="_blank">The New York Times</a>:  <blockquote> Addressing the Palmetto Family Council, a social conservative group in South Carolina, on Thursday night, Mr. Pence made no mention of the scathing criticism Mr. Trump leveled at him for his refusal to try to overturn the 2020 presidential election results. He made only a passing mention to the attack on the Capitol on Jan. 6, which included agitated Trump supporters chanting “Hang Mike Pence” while the president did nothing for hours to stop them.  … He did not acknowledge that after standing loyally by Mr. Trump’s side for four years, Mr. Trump has been dangling insulting tidbits to conservative news outlets from his bunker at Mar-a-Lago; that includes an interview with Fox Business in which Mr. Trump said he would consider Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida as a running mate if he decided to mount another presidential run in 2024. </blockquote> I can honestly say, I’ve never given this much deference to a person who clearly disdained me this much and wasn’t actively dating me. And I stopped bowing and scraping to anyone like this years and years ago.  I can’t imagine Pence still thinks he has a political future, so I’m not quite sure what he’s doing here. Trump’s fans look at Pence and see a Smithers who’s lost his Monty. They’ll vote for the fruit of Trump’s loins—i.e., Ivanka, Don Jr., Eric, even gonorrhea—before they’ll ever vote for his vice president. <blockquote> Instead, Mr. Pence made his political calculation clear: any possible future in the party for him still depends on staying closely aligned to Mr. Trump, despite the accompanying indignities. Mr. Pence said he had the “privilege of serving alongside President Donald Trump,” and reminisced about the good times they had together on the 2016 campaign trail. </blockquote> Barf. I guess this is how cults work. Though if I’d somehow survived the <a href="https://www.vox.com/2015/5/23/8647095/kool-aid-jonestown-flavor-aid" target="_blank">grape Flavor-Aid</a>, I doubt I’d have gone back to Jonestown for the reunion every five years. But then I don’t understand real dedication. Sad for me, I suppose. ”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry." — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08F9NBJ55?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_3&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Lunatic-obscenely-letters-ebook/dp/B07BZ5MM2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524886077&sr=8-1&keywords=dear+f+cking+lunatic" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Lunatic</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0826YPJC7/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2UAN74AXGEOSW&keywords=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing&qid=1575235698&sprefix=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-4" target="_blank">Dear Pr*sident A**clown</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Moron-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B07Q5XTQGF/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1554334938&refinements=p_27%3AAldous+J.+Pennyfarthing&s=digital-text&sr=1-1&text=Aldous+J.+Pennyfarthing" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Moron</a>, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) CapitolRiot DonaldTrump Insurrection January6 MikePence Recommended trump _2028349 Fri, 30 Apr 2021 17:08:36 +0000 Heartwarming proof that the president and VP are human beings who love their spouses https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/29/2028234/-Heartwarming-proof-that-the-president-and-VP-are-now-human-beings-who-love-their-spouses Time after time, Melania Trump slapped her husband’s hand away faster than a hummingbird could flap its wings. Assuming fusion power fails to pan out, it’s nice to know that her phalanges-flickin’ wrist is an untapped source of renewable energy that will last us at least until her death—or until he stops lunging at her like she’s a slab of seasoned gyro meat mere minutes from its expiration date. Whichever comes first. While the Trumps are presumably mammals, I’ve no doubt Donald would eat his family members one by one if he needed to survive in an emergency. Hell, I’m convinced he’d tuck into Eric before ever eating a salad … or even a low-carb crouton. (Not Don Jr., though, because it would be all but impossible to adhere to the five-second rule for things that fell on the floor after injecting cocaine into their eyeballs.) So it’s beyond refreshing now to have a president and VP who are not only competent but recognizably human. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DonaldTrump DougEmhoff DrJillBiden JoeBiden KamalaHarris MelaniaTrump Recommended trump _2028234 Thu, 29 Apr 2021 22:25:48 +0000 Hey, gals! If you're tired of the 'soy boy swamp,' this new 'Christian' dating site is for you! https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/29/2028192/-Hey-gals-If-you-re-tired-of-the-soy-boy-swamp-this-new-Christian-dating-site-is-for-you Yoo-hoo, ladies! You’ve hit the manly man trifecta: conservative, biblically correct dudes who want to marry you as soon as effing possible! How can you refuse? A new “traditional” dating website, <a href="https://www.dominion.dating/" target="_blank">Dominion Dating</a>, plans to launch on Aug. 1 with “1,000+ bold, biblical singles ... ready to build families, shape culture & take dominion.” Uh, not to be a killjoy, but they may want to up that number, unless this is really just a way to start a Christian apocalypse cult at a remote Wyoming compound or something. That’s a pretty shallow dating pool, and considering how eager for marriage the site’s target audience appears to be, that number could get whittled down to nada in no time. While the site won’t launch for another three months, you gals need to be ready. Imagine consolidating all the harassment you get from incels and other anti-feminists in one convenient location! But if you think you’re anything more than a warm, fecund womb that lamentably sprouted a brain and four limbs at some point during your dissolute, wayward lives, you may want to move along. This isn’t the spot for you. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) Christianity ConservativeChristians Dating datingsites DominionDating Recommended soyboys _2028192 Thu, 29 Apr 2021 18:20:37 +0000 Orange County official asked doctor if the COVID vaccine has a tracking device, because Republicans https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/28/2028095/-Orange-County-official-asked-doctor-if-the-COVID-vaccine-has-a-tracking-device-because-Republicans To be honest, I’m not all that concerned that the COVID vaccine I took last Friday might have a tracking device in it. For one thing, it doesn’t, because that would be bonkers. For another, I can’t fathom who the hell would want to track me. I can just imagine the folks at the NSA gawking at my 24-hour feed and thinking, “He’s going to the cupboard again? How many Little Debbie Fig Bars can one guy eat?” Also, I have a phone in my pocket that’s tracking me pretty much everywhere I go—which is basically nowhere except the aforementioned cupboard. If the government really wants to send in an artillery strike, they can just check the iPhone coordinates. Or look up my address, FFS. Honestly, Republicans need to come up with better, more plausible horror stories—like that the vaccine contains a cache of self-replicating nanobots that gradually <a href="https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Brundlefly" target="_blank">Brundlefly</a> you into a Republican. Now that would give me pause. Sadly, though, the way this conspiracy theory so effortlessly glides off this doofus’ tongue makes me think he represents thousands, if not millions, of his fellow travelers in the International Bizarro World Party.  rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) California ClaytonChau ConspiracyTheories Coronavirus Covid-19 Covidvaccine DonWagner OrangeCounty Recommended Vaccine _2028095 Thu, 29 Apr 2021 00:22:56 +0000 Dr. Fauci slaps down podcaster Joe Rogan over ignorant vaccine comments https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/28/2028027/-Dr-Fauci-slaps-down-podcaster-Joe-Rogan-over-ignorant-vaccine-comments Joe Rogan has a monumentally popular podcast. And he used to host <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0278191/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank" title="">Fear Factor</a>, a show in which people ate an increasingly baroque series of bugs until they’d proven they could eat insects with an alacrity and fervor unsurpassed by all the other insect-eaters in the multiverse. And he’s a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j65jhGZUJv8" target="_blank" title="">stand-up comedian</a> or something. He also likes to <a href="https://podcastnotes.org/joe-rogan-experience/pollan-2/" target="_blank" title="">talk about psychedelics</a> a lot, which I genuinely find interesting—though not quite interesting enough to actually listen to his podcast. He was also on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsTty8n4SFA" target="_blank" title="">News Radio.</a> That’s about all I know about the guy. Hey, if I’m going to watch or listen to an online talk show hosted by a stand-up comedian, it’s going to be <a href="https://hangingwithdoctorz.com/" target="_blank" title="">this one</a> from The Planet of the Apes’ Dr. Zaius. That said, I’m not sure what Rogan was tripping on when he offered his nonexistent expertise on vaccines and who should be getting them. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AnthonyFauci Coronavirus Covid-19 DrFauci herdimmunity joerogan JoeRoganExperience Recommended Todayshow Vaccines _2028027 Wed, 28 Apr 2021 18:30:05 +0000 GOP rep hid on toilet and clutched sword during Capitol riot, then voted 'no' on impeachment https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/27/2027904/-GOP-rep-hid-on-toilet-and-clutched-sword-during-Capitol-riot-then-voted-no-on-impeachment It’s time to allow the noble elephant, which was long ago conscripted into service as the symbol of the modern GOP, to go live on a sanctuary or something. Because we’ve found the perfect totem for today’s Republican Party: a terrified loser sitting on a toilet clutching a Civil War sword as Donald Trump’s mob descends on the Capitol fixing to tear the non-Borg limb from limb. Deep within the bowels of a lengthy story on House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy’s post-insurrection relationship with Donald Trump, the following little nugget appeared, and it occurred to me just how emblematic of today’s GOP one Rep. Bruce Westerman really is. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) BruceWesterman CapitolRiot Coup DonaldTrump Insurrection KevinMcCarthy Recommended trump _2027904 Tue, 27 Apr 2021 23:32:42 +0000 More evidence that the former guy is fading away, even among Republicans https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/27/2027860/-More-evidence-that-the-former-guy-is-fading-away-even-among-Republicans Donald Trump <a href="https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/550494-trump-mocks-politically-correct-and-boring-oscars-over-low" target="_blank" title="">said some stupid shit about the Oscars today</a>, because he’s gone from being the worst pr*sident in U.S. history to writing the worst blog on the internet. (I can’t even find an archive of his “statements.” That’s how far off the grid he is these days.) You may have noticed you can now go as long as a few hours without his clammy tumescent melon head interrupting your sublime, weed-infused reveries. He’s out of sight and (still) out of his mind, and ironically, the less we see of him, the less we appear to like him. At least that’s the conclusion to be drawn from a recent NBC News poll, which shows Donald Trump’s favorability ratings dipping below their January level and his iron grip on the party beginning to slip. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DonaldTrump Favorability JoeBiden NBCNews Polling Recommended trump _2027860 Tue, 27 Apr 2021 19:25:21 +0000 AOC on the first 100 days: 'Biden has definitely exceeded expectations that progressives had' https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/26/2027744/-AOC-on-the-first-100-days-Biden-has-definitely-exceeded-expectations-that-progressives-had I’m probably a lot closer on the political spectrum to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez than I am to Joe Biden—and not just because I prefer a Starbucks triple venti nonfat soy caramel <a href="https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/3/6/18253505/amazon-qanon-book-best-seller-algorithm-conspiracy" target="_blank">baby’s blood</a> macchiato to whatever low-rent greasy spoon baby’s blood bevvie Biden drinks. Probably has Sanka in it. Pfft. So I appreciate what AOC is saying here. My goal in supporting Joe Biden was to take the keys away from the bath salts-besotted yeti who was driving the van I was trapped in. Sure, I liked Biden well enough, but I didn’t expect him to be a progressive champion. Well, blow me down, he’s delivered on a lot of progressive priorities, and progressives are noticing: <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;Rep. &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/AOC?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;@AOC&lt;/a&gt;: &amp;quot;I do think that… President Biden has definitely exceeded expectations that progressives had.&amp;quot; &lt;a href="https://t.co/U615Hbgpud"&gt;pic.twitter.com/U615Hbgpud&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; The Hill (@thehill) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1386805270404272133?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;April 26, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">Rep. <a href="https://twitter.com/AOC?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@AOC</a>: "I do think that… President Biden has definitely exceeded expectations that progressives had." <a href="https://t.co/U615Hbgpud">pic.twitter.com/U615Hbgpud</a>— The Hill (@thehill) <a href="https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1386805270404272133?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 26, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> <blockquote> OCASIO-CORTEZ: “One thing that I will say is that I do think that the Biden administration, President Biden has definitely exceeded expectations that progressives had. I’ll be frank, I think a lot of us expected a much more conservative administration, and I think that … not only what has ultimately come out, but the active invitation and willingness and collaboration with progressives in his first 100 days, or almost 100 days, has been very impressive. So while there are very, you know, there are areas where there are just plain areas of disagreement, I think the actual conduct of the administration has absolutely been in good faith, but not just in good faith but active incorporation of progressive legislation, and also for those of us individually. And I can at least say that there has been a lot of openness and willingness and flexibility in incorporating many of our goals, requests, demands, etc., and I think that it has been to the benefit of the country.” </blockquote> <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/04/joe-biden-new-progressive-era/618589/" target="_blank">Anand Giridharadas, writing for The Atlantic</a>, agrees with AOC’s assessment and summarizes the first three months of the Biden administration, and the surprises it’s held, better than I ever could: <blockquote> Biden sold the country on a massive rescue package that his erstwhile rival Sanders has <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/23/opinion/ezra-klein-podcast-bernie-sanders.html">called</a> “the single most significant piece of legislation for working-class people that has been passed since the 1960s.” He quickly followed that with an infrastructure proposal that includes everything from roads to a strengthened safety net for caregivers, and focuses on redressing the harms of climate change and the racist urban planning of the past. Biden plans to finance it partially through a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/30/business/economy/biden-infrastructure-taxes.html">tax increase</a> on the corporations he was once better known for protecting. There have been a slew of executive orders, many of real import, as well as gestures like <a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/03/01/972410944/biden-backs-amazon-warehouse-workers-union-drive">standing up for Amazon workers</a> seeking to unionize. <div></div> The conversations I’ve had in recent weeks have painted a portrait of an improbable coming-together of people and forces: a moderate president, with an ascendant progressive movement at his back and at his throat, facing a once-in-a-generation window of opportunity. ... And many of us who thought we knew what a Biden presidency would look like, and didn’t expect much from it, are suddenly asking ourselves: How did we get him so wrong? </blockquote> Hey, it’s early, but I’m beyond pleased with Biden so far. What about you? Let me know in the comments and the accompanying poll. ”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry." — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08F9NBJ55?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_3&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Lunatic-obscenely-letters-ebook/dp/B07BZ5MM2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524886077&sr=8-1&keywords=dear+f+cking+lunatic" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Lunatic</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0826YPJC7/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2UAN74AXGEOSW&keywords=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing&qid=1575235698&sprefix=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-4" target="_blank">Dear Pr*sident A**clown</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Moron-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B07Q5XTQGF/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1554334938&refinements=p_27%3AAldous+J.+Pennyfarthing&s=digital-text&sr=1-1&text=Aldous+J.+Pennyfarthing" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Moron</a>, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AlexandriaOcasio-Cortez AlexandriaOcasioCortez BernieSanders covidrelief Infrastructure JoeBiden KamalaHarris PresidentBiden Progressives Recommended _2027744 Mon, 26 Apr 2021 23:05:30 +0000 Rick Santorum explains how white Christians built this country all by themselves https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/26/2027687/-Rick-Santorum-explains-how-white-Christians-built-this-country-all-by-themselves Most of my immigrant ancestors came here from Germany in the 1860s and 1870s. I have no idea why they came. They probably wanted to make sure their descendants were fully ensconced by the time Funyuns were invented. No doubt they also saw opportunity here, so they moved to Wisconsin (<a href="https://madison.com/wsj/news/local/ask/just-ask-us/just-ask-us-how-did-wisconsin-get-its-name/article_942ec3a6-041a-52c9-a432-cd8c16707a79.html#:~:text=Q%3A%20How%20did%20Wisconsin%20get,Dells%20of%20the%20Wisconsin%20River." target="_blank" title="">whose name is derived from a Native American name</a>) to a little town called Manitowoc (<a href="https://madison.com/wsj/news/local/odd-wisconsin-manitowoc-named-for-vanished-cross/article_c344d8d4-49a3-5c5d-86d6-ab99e5ec1975.html#:~:text=Our%20modern%20name%20Manitowoc%20came,signifying%20a%20tree%20or%20woods." target="_blank" title="">ditto</a>), where they likely gorged themselves on potatoes and maize every Thanksgiving.  I’m glad they immigrated because I like my local Trader Joe’s, but I doubt they were coming here for religious freedom. Maybe one of them lived next door to a Drumpf. Who knows? It’s moot, because what they contributed to American culture was no more or less significant than what any other immigrant—from any country—contributed. And it was certainly far less than what our Native American friends gifted us. But folks like former U.S. senator and current CNN contributor Rick Santorum are intent on whitewashing our history. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) CNN Constitution IroquoisConfederacy NativeAmericans Recommended ReligiousFreedom RickSantorum YoungAmericasFoundation _2027687 Mon, 26 Apr 2021 18:25:04 +0000 Kevin McCarthy can't answer direct questions about Jan. 6 because the Eye of Sour-Don is watching https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/25/2027546/-Kevin-McCarthy-can-t-answer-direct-questions-about-Jan-6-because-the-Eye-of-Sour-Don-is-watching Republicans desperately want you to forget the events of Jan. 6 and their aftermath. Unfortunately, the guy who caused the riot (at least <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/13/politics/mitch-mcconnell-acquit-trump/index.html" target="_blank">according to Mitch McConnell</a>) is still the face of their party, and so they have to do an awkward little dance where they pretend he’s actually not a Soviet-style autocrat who wanted to burn liberal democracy to the ground, but rather a wee bit of a loose cannon with a lot of “strong opinions.” I’ve never seen this level of slavish devotion to an unrepentant asshole outside of bona fide dictatorships and deeply dysfunctional families with at least one abusive alcoholic parent. It’s like if Volkswagen had come out with a line of Hitler-mobiles five years after World War II ended because the guy still had a lot of fans. What do we have to do to permanently make this dude box-office poison? Does he have to jump in a Piper Cub with a payload of COVID and start cropdusting rural Nebraska farms while trailing a sign saying “Welcome to the ‘Corona’ Belt, Pee-Paw”? I don’t think even that would do anything. So you get absurdities like this: One of the congressmen Trump basically left for dead (or wounded or, at the very least, traumatized) refuses to rebuke him, even when asked a direct question about Trump’s actions (and inaction) on Jan. 6. From Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace: <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;Kevin McCarthy refuses to answer Chris Wallace&amp;#39;s question about whether it&amp;#39;s true that Trump told him, &amp;quot;Well Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are&amp;quot; when McCarthy called and urged him to call off the insurrectionists on January 6 &lt;a href="https://t.co/cSYSPUs8OO"&gt;pic.twitter.com/cSYSPUs8OO&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1386313806863863811?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;April 25, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">Kevin McCarthy refuses to answer Chris Wallace's question about whether it's true that Trump told him, "Well Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are" when McCarthy called and urged him to call off the insurrectionists on January 6 <a href="https://t.co/cSYSPUs8OO">pic.twitter.com/cSYSPUs8OO</a>— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) <a href="https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1386313806863863811?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 25, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> <blockquote> WALLACE: “In February, during the trial in the Senate, a Republican congresswoman [Jaime Herrera Beutler] said this; I want to put it up on the screen. She said that while the Jan. 6 riot was in full force, you phoned President Trump and asked him to call off his supporters, and according to you, she said, the president responded, ‘Well, Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are.’ Is she right? Is that what President Trump said to you?” MCCARTHY: “What I talked to President Trump about, I was the first person to contact him when the riot was going on, he didn't see it. What he ended the call was saying, telling me, he’ll put something out to make sure to stop this, and that’s what he did. He put a video out later.” WALLACE: “Quite a lot later, and it was a pretty weak video, but I’m asking you specifically, did he say to you, ‘I guess some people are more concerned about the election than you are’?” MCCARTHY: “No, listen. My conversations with the president are my conversations with the president. I engaged in the idea of making sure we could stop what was going on inside the Capitol at that moment in time, and the president said he would help.” </blockquote> Narrator: “He didn’t”—help, that is. I have to believe most sane Republicans (a dwindling cohort, I grant you) wish Trump would just fall in a tar pit somewhere so they could stop twisting their brains into Wetzel’s Pretzels. But this is the situation they created. If you’re going to act like a cult, you have to bow and scrape when your cult leader says “boo.” And you better not contradict him, no matter how many unhinged things he says. McCarthy knows he can’t tell the truth about his Jan. 6 conversation with Donald Trump because hearing the truth turns Trump into the Heat Miser’s rashy taint. And he will lash out.  If they ever want to return to consensus reality, Republicans will have to jettison the inveterate liar and conspiracy theorist they’ve spent the last five years deifying. Unfortunately for this bevy of feckless fopdoodles, that’s easier said than done.  ”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry." — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08F9NBJ55?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_3&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Lunatic-obscenely-letters-ebook/dp/B07BZ5MM2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524886077&sr=8-1&keywords=dear+f+cking+lunatic" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Lunatic</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0826YPJC7/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2UAN74AXGEOSW&keywords=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing&qid=1575235698&sprefix=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-4" target="_blank">Dear Pr*sident A**clown</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Moron-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B07Q5XTQGF/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1554334938&refinements=p_27%3AAldous+J.+Pennyfarthing&s=digital-text&sr=1-1&text=Aldous+J.+Pennyfarthing" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Moron</a>, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) CapitolRiot ChrisWallace DonaldTrump FoxNews Insurrection January6 KevinMcCarthy Recommended trump _2027546 Sun, 25 Apr 2021 18:42:23 +0000 Compassion is back in the White House ... and the VP's residence. This short clip shows it https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/24/2027447/-Compassion-is-back-in-the-White-House-and-the-VP-s-residence-This-short-clip-shows-it I’ll make this quick because the video speaks for itself. For four years we sat by, mouths immutably agape, as Donald Trump tossed paper towels at hurricane victims and made the COVID pandemic all about himself. But with the return of competence to the White House, we also saw a renewal of compassion. So far at least, that’s been seen most prominently in the words and actions of Joe Biden, our consoler-in-chief. But we also have a new vice president—one who does more than stand dewy-eyed and mute while the big dyspeptic yam bellows. And we got a good look at her heart yesterday as she helped a nervous man through a presentation on infrastructure. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DkHive DonaldTrump Infrastructure JoeBiden KamalaHarris Khive Recommended trump VicePresidentHarris _2027447 Sat, 24 Apr 2021 17:57:17 +0000 'Not even student work': IT experts snicker at MyPillow guy's flailing 'free speech' site https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/24/2027433/--Not-even-student-work-IT-experts-snicker-at-MyPillow-guy-s-flailing-free-speech-site After all the excitement surrounding the launch of Mike “MyPillow Guy” Lindell’s <a href="https://www.frankspeech.com/" target="_blank">Frank Speech</a> vanity project, things appear to have died down quickly. Earlier in the week, the site at least featured the collected works of the biggest ‘lection loons in the U.S., and there appeared to be a sign-up screen for all those brutally censored patriots who couldn’t wait for a safe space in which to call Hillary Clinton a baby blood-drinking Illuminati reptile person—<a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/mypillow-ceo-mike-lindells-new-free-speech-site-bans-curse-words-and-lying" target="_blank">without ever swearing or using the Lord’s name in vain</a>, of course. Today? You’ve got Lindell’s Frankathon running on a continuous loop, and Absolute Interference, the latest Mike Lindell joint that’s <a href="https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mike-lindell-is-readying-another-documentary-and-lawsuit-that-he-claims-will-finally-convince-scotus-the-election-was-stolen/" target="_blank">supposed to convince nine Supreme Court justices to unanimously overturn the November election</a>, is loitering on the home page like a guy at Dunkin’ Donuts who tells every new customer that the COVID-19 vaccines are made of communist mouse farts, evil alien nanobots, and ghee. In other words, Lindell’s site is a huge, huge fail, and it doesn’t look like its fortunes will turn around anytime soon, because—and I know this is hard to accept, but it appears to be true—Mike Lindell is basically just a fleshy vessel for the glorification of ‘70s pornstaches, whose expertise is limited to hawking subpar pillows and melting women’s hearts into libidinous puddles of yearning with the titillating timber of his voice. So where did the launch of a complex social media platform fail where the stuffing of pillowcases with cheap shredded foam so clearly succeeded? Oh, lordy, let us count the ways. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) Drupal Election2020 frankspeech MikeLindell MyPillow Recommended SocialMedia Twitter YouTube _2027433 Sat, 24 Apr 2021 16:56:55 +0000 Ron Johnson at his most irresponsible: 'I see no reason to be pushing vaccines on people' https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/22/2027177/-Ron-Johnson-at-his-most-irresponsible-I-see-no-reason-to-be-pushing-vaccines-on-people I grew up in Wisconsin, so I happen to know there are thousands of Ron Johnsons haunting various backwater dairyland redoubts, oafishly sounding out exotic menu items like “jalapeño poppers” at supper clubs, ordering one brandy Old-Fashioned after another, and dribbling chunky rivulets of tartar sauce down their chins onto musty, antediluvian wool suits as they race against each other to see who can fully transform into giant ambulant pee stains before the bar closes. And as horrifying as that scene is to a young impressionable child, I wasn’t truly horrified until one of these characters became the junior U.S. senator from Wisconsin. (We now refer to him as the senior senator from Wisconsin, and not just because he has no idea how to cancel his 28-year-old AOL account.) Anyway, this incorrigible clown penis was on Vicki McKenna’s Madison, Wisconsin-based radio show on Thursday, and displayed a lack of logic and wealth of ignorance befitting the Badger State’s worst Ron Johnson. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) Coronavirus Covid-19 Recommended RonJohnson Vaccines VickiMcKenna Wisconsin _2027177 Thu, 22 Apr 2021 22:05:37 +0000 Ted Cruz's latest straight-faced dishonesty: 'You didn't see us try to pack the court' https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/22/2027132/-Ted-Cruz-s-latest-straight-faced-dishonesty-You-didn-t-see-us-try-to-pack-the-court Ted Cruz has been accused of a lot of things: being the Zodiac Killer; being from Canada; being a churlish Sea Monkey that grew out of control in a secret Area 51 lab before escaping into the forest with a family-size bag of Bugles and a sixer of Zima; being the son of a key JFK assassination conspiracist; spending the past four years hiding in Donald Trump’s Underoos like a colicky baby wallaby; having the personality of a clammy loaf of reduced-salt Wonder Bread; running away to Cancun when his home state was in crisis; having a black, bloodless knot of a heart the size of a runty chickpea.  The list goes on. But one thing few people have ever accused Cruz of is forthrightness. Case in point: Republicans, once again, are trying to pretend the stuff you saw them do just a few short years ago—stuff like run up the deficit and block Barack Obama’s federal and Supreme Court nominations—never really happened. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AmyConeyBarrett AntoninScalia MerrickGarland PresidentObama Recommended SCOTUS SupremeCourt TedCruz _2027132 Thu, 22 Apr 2021 17:50:10 +0000 'You've done nothing wrong': Virginia cop canned after donating to Kyle Rittenhouse defense fund https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/21/2027020/--You-ve-done-nothing-wrong-Virginia-cop-canned-after-donating-to-Kyle-Rittenhouse-defense-fund You know, I’m happy they were able to take Kyle Rittenhouse into custody after he allegedly shot and killed two people during protests in Kenosha, Wisconsin, last year. That’s the way these things are supposed to go. I just wish conservatives didn’t feel the need to turn him into a folk hero. I’m surprised Mike Lindell isn’t giving him a sponge bath live on <a href="https://frankspeech.com/" target="_blank">Frankspeech.com</a> as we speak. While he’s at it, maybe he could pop a couple of tasty macarons in Kyle’s mouth while a pair of 18th century fops read him lyric poetry and loofah his velvety, gleaming-white undercarriage. I mean, he’s obviously an upstanding, law-abiding young man who started shooting at protesters out of the goodness of his heart. It’s not like he was trying to pass a $20 bill that may or may not have been counterfeit.  rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) BlackLivesMatter GeorgeFloyd JacobBlake Kenosha KyleRittenhouse Recommended WilliamKelly _2027020 Wed, 21 Apr 2021 23:48:14 +0000 Mike Lindell's new 'free speech' website is even more of a disaster than any of us could have hoped https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/21/2026947/-Mike-Lindell-s-new-free-speech-website-is-even-more-of-a-disaster-than-any-of-us-could-have-hoped I can’t stop watching the MyPillow Guy, Mike Lindell, and his “Frank-a-thon” to launch his stupid new Arby’s dumpster of a website. The guy has been jabbering for the better part of two days. This morning, I tuned in to see him interviewing someone, but I never got the dude’s name because Lindell wouldn’t let him get a word in. Lindell won’t stop talking. It’s a case of logorrhea the likes of which I’ve never seen before. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s on 100 CCs of Jesus and not overstuffed Hefty bags full of cocaine cut with meth. But, damn, he’s a dynamo of disinformation. While I was watching, Lindell claimed he’d gotten confirmation from Jimmy Kimmel Live! that he will be a guest on the show. Kimmel, who<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/20/arts/television/jimmy-kimmel-mike-lindell.html" target="_blank" title=""> appears to be even more obsessed </a>with Albino Grimace than I am, has previously joked that he’d interview Lindell under two conditions: “Number one, he has to actually come into our studio—I need to see him in person. I want to smell the knackwurst in his mustache. And number two, I would like to conduct our interview in a bed, surrounded by pillows. Just me and Mike snuggled up side by side in a California king surrounded by sacks of goose feathers.” Judging by Mike’s reaction, he almost certainly thinks he’s about to break this whole election fraud thing wide open on late-night TV while nuzzling a guy who can’t stop making fun of him. Speaking of Lindell’s gullibility, the guy who called in to Lindell’s show on Monday pretending to be Donald Trump <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/dumber-than-a-bag-of-rocks-how-one-prank-caller-turned-mike-lindells-telethon-into-comedy-gold?via=twitter_page" target="_blank" title="">spoke with the Daily Beast, and revealed his diabolical methods</a>. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) BrannonHowse DonaldTrump Election2020 Frankspeech.com MikeLindell MyPillow PresidentJoeBiden Recommended RonBlackman TheMacronShow trump _2026947 Wed, 21 Apr 2021 18:25:11 +0000 Kayleigh McEnany doesn't like presidents who inflame tensions, scolds Biden for his Chauvin comments https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/20/2026859/-Kayleigh-McEnany-doesn-t-like-presidents-who-inflame-tensions-scolds-Biden-for-his-Chauvin-comments Irony died years ago, but former White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany has decided to exhume its corpse and drag it through town behind a team of bath salts-besotted Clydesdales. Speaking on—I don’t know, some fucking Bizarro World Fox show—McEnany said she thought the country is a tinderbox now, and so President Biden should have refrained from commenting on the Derek Chauvin trial trial. Because, you know, the famously reticent Donald Trump wouldn’t have said anything—and certainly nothing that would have “inflamed tensions.” rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) BlackLivesMatter Chauvintrial DerekChauvin DonaldTrump FoxNews GeorgeFloyd JoeBiden kayleighmcenany PresidentBiden Recommended trump _2026859 Tue, 20 Apr 2021 23:40:38 +0000 Happy 4/20! Almost 7 in 10 Americans want cannabis legalized https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/20/2026786/-Happy-4-20-Almost-7-in-10-Americans-want-cannabis-legalized The problem with having Christmas every day, as the folks behind <a href="https://www.travelchannel.com/interests/holidays/photos/10-places-where-you-can-celebrate-christmas-every-day" target="_blank">these weird Christmas-themed attractions </a>surely know by now, is that when Dec. 25 actually comes around, Christmas doesn’t seem that special. That’s a bit how I feel on 4/20. What am I gonna do? Get higher? I’m not sure that’s possible. Outside of putting myself on a hash oil IV drip, I don’t know how I could cram any more THC into my body. I suppose I could take advantage of modern gene-splicing technology to transform my feet into a pair of lungfish that can methodically toke away as I sleep, but that might make my monthly pedicure a smidge awkward. And the lungfish foot fetish community is not nearly as active as you might think. So other than leaving out (<a href="https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2020/1/17/1911538/-What-Greta-Thunberg-knows-that-you-might-not-It-s-easy-to-take-a-bite-out-of-climate-change" target="_blank">plant-based</a>) milk and (vegan) cookies for myself and paying rapt attention to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye2gMvRa-iE" target="_blank">this YouTube yule log</a> for three hours, I don’t have a lot of special ways to celebrate this very special holiday. Except, maybe, with this. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) 420 Cannabis cannabislegalizatino HighTimes JoeBiden Marijuana NORML Recommended Weed _2026786 Tue, 20 Apr 2021 19:35:11 +0000 I'm deathly afraid of needles, and I just signed up for the COVID vaccine. No excuses https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/19/2026616/-I-m-deathly-afraid-of-needles-and-I-just-signed-up-for-the-COVID-vaccine-No-excuses-folks Today is the day I stopped stalling. My BMI is on the cusp of “overweight,” and other than an overweening fondness for nondairy cheeses made from a mysterious hodgepodge of plant oils, space ingredients (dark matter for sure, and perhaps a soupçon of tauntaun smegma), and hipster smugness, I don’t have any qualifying preexisting conditions.  The only drug I take is an antidepressant, which allows me to visit family in my small Trumpy hometown in Wisconsin once or twice a year without my organs spontaneously shutting down. So now that everyone in the U.S. is eligible to get the coronavirus vaccine—as of today!—my morning task was clear: Sign up for the Fauci ouchie. Which I did. I’m scheduled for Friday morning at my local Rite Aid. Moderna. Boom, motherfuckers! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) Coronavirus Covid-19 FauciOuchie JoeBiden JohnsonandJohnson Moderna needles Pfizer phobia Recommended Vaccine _2026616 Mon, 19 Apr 2021 18:28:52 +0000 MyPillow guy countersuing Dominion for $1.6 billion, and his 'free speech' site launch is ... weird https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/19/2026585/-MyPillow-guy-countersuing-Dominion-for-1-6-billion-and-his-free-speech-site-launch-is-weird Okay, so MyPillow guy Mike Lindell’s new site, <a href="https://frankspeech.com/" target="_blank">Frankspeech.com</a>, isn’t working quite yet. It <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/mike-lindell-mypillow-social-media-frank-vip-launch-access-delay-2021-4" target="_blank">was supposed to launch days ago</a>, but if you go there right now (as of this writing, that is), you’ll see Lindell fielding a series of prank phone calls and interviewing Ted Nugent. No apparent social-media-ing going on yet. (According to Lindell, “Frank Speech was attacked this morning,” and so it can’t yet be used. But he promises to stream insane video of himself and other kooks for the next 48 hours.) By the time you read this, maybe Lindell will have found a way to expunge the pranksters’ free speech from the free speech site, and perhaps Randy Quaid will show up with absolute proof that 20 million uncounted Trump votes were squirreled away in a Frankfurt, Germany, frogurt machine back in November. But that’s burying the lede, because Lindell also announced today that he—or, rather, his company MyPillow—is suing Dominion Voting Systems for $1.6 billion, which is, oddly, more than the amount Dominion sued him for in response to his serial election lies. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) BrendenDilley DominionVotingSystems frankspeech MikeLindell MyPillow Recommended TedNugent Twitter YouTube _2026585 Mon, 19 Apr 2021 16:08:56 +0000 Garland's DOJ reverses Trump-era rule on consent decrees, which help hold local police accountable https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/17/2026382/-Garland-s-DOJ-reverses-Trump-era-rule-on-consent-decrees-which-help-hold-local-police-accountable The Trump administration—the malignant milieu of racism, bad ideas, and bad, racist ideas—had, for the past two-plus years, limited the use of consent decrees in holding police departments accountable for abusive (read: racist) behavior. Now, Attorney General Merrick Garland is reversing that Trump-era policy. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) BarackObama consentdecrees DaunteWright DepartmentofJustice DonaldTrump FergusonMissouri JeffersonBeauregardSessionsIII JoeBiden MerrickGarland MichaelBrown Police policereform Racism Recommended trump _2026382 Sat, 17 Apr 2021 22:45:05 +0000 Ted Lieu has questions about Gosar and Greene's new 'Anglo-Saxon' caucus. I think we all do https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/17/2026367/-Ted-Lieu-has-questions-about-Gosar-and-Greene-s-new-Anglo-Saxon-caucus-I-think-we-all-do Finally! A voice for white people in the United States! I’ve felt like a second-class citizen ever since … okay, I’ve never felt that way. Nevertheless, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Paul Gosar, who might be able to cobble together a fully functioning brain between them if it doesn’t have to be 100% human and they’re given fair and reasonable access to a monkey slaughterhouse, are speaking up for ME—a straight white male with the world’s largest Bud Light tchotchke and <a href="https://jonmcnaughton.com/" target="_blank" title="">Jon McNaughton art print collection</a>. They’ve started something called the—wait, this can’t be right, can it? What the fuck year is this? Let’s see. People are running around acting like vaccines are witchcraft and infectious diseases can be cured with prayer, sunshine, and whatever horse-food supplement Donald Trump saw on the <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/stella-immanuel-trumps-new-covid-doctor-believes-in-alien-dna-demon-sperm-and-hydroxychloroquine" target="_blank">Demon Sperm Doctor</a>’s Friendster page this morning, and now some people think an <a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/house/548731-pro-trump-lawmakers-form-caucus-to-promote-anglo-saxon-political-traditions" target="_blank" title="">“Anglo-Saxon” congressional caucus</a> must be an appropriate way to address perceived but totally not-real slights. Fuck, it’s not 2020 again, is it? Anyway, like most of us, California Rep. Ted Lieu, an Asian-American U.S. Air Force veteran who had <a href="https://twitter.com/tedlieu/status/1383122560020193281" target="_blank">previously told</a> Greene and Gosar to “take your nativist crap and shove it,” has some important questions about their so-called “America First” Caucus. <div><a name="update-1618700563000"></a></div> <div class="live-update-wrapper" data-epoch-time="1618700563000"><a class="live-update-link" href="#update-1618700563000">Saturday, Apr 17, 2021 · 11:02:43 PM +00:00 · Aldous J Pennyfarthing </a> <div class="live-update-content"> <div style="text-align:left">Potato, po-tah-to, tomato, to-mah-to, let’s call the whole thing off. Thanks to a fierce backlash from, well, pretty much everyone not named Marjorie Taylor Greene or Paul Gosar, they’re abandoning the whole America First Caucus thing, <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewsolender/2021/04/17/marjorie-taylor-greene-calls-off-america-first-caucus-following-backlash/?sh=c8abef941981" target="_blank">per Forbes</a>.</div> <blockquote>“She’s not planning on launching it at this time,” (Greene’s) spokesperson said, adding that it was “in the early planning stages” but that the publication of the document by Punchbowl “[blew] it all up.”</blockquote> <div style="text-align:left">This is what happens when we use our voices, people. It works.</div> </div> </div> rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AmericaFirst AmericaFirstCaucus Anglo-Saxon DonaldTrump MarjorieTaylorGreene Nativism PaulGosar Racism Recommended TedLieu _2026367 Sat, 17 Apr 2021 20:30:06 +0000 Colorado Republican makes lynching joke before whitesplaining the Three-Fifths Compromise https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/17/2026347/-Colorado-Republican-makes-lynching-joke-before-whitesplaining-the-Three-Fifths-Compromise I’m not sure if I liked Republicans better when they were secretly racist or if it’s better now that they’ve decided to wear their racism on their sleeves. Seriously, the way Tucker Carlson is going lately, I expect him to show up on the air in a Waffen SS uniform any day now. (I assume he’s already wearing the vintage Eva Braun Underoos.) So here’s my advice to my fellow white people. Before you speak on anything related to race, or race relations, or the history of racial oppression in the U.S., or—good God in heaven—slavery, think about what you’re saying before you say it. Then, just to be safe, don’t fucking say it. Maybe listen for once. So in episode No. 10,342 of Republicans Behaving Badly, we encounter Colorado state Rep. Ron Hanks, a white man (natch) who doesn’t think the infamous Three-Fifths Compromise is what we can all clearly see it was: an attempt to categorize Black people as something less than a full a person. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AfricanAmericans CivilRights Colorado Lynching Recommended RonHanks Slavery ThreeFifthsCompromise whitesplaining _2026347 Sat, 17 Apr 2021 16:50:09 +0000 Hey, hey, the DOJ is suing Roger Stone for tax he (probably) didn't pay https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/16/2026278/-Hey-hey-the-DOJ-is-suing-Roger-Stone-for-tax-he-maybe-didn-t-pay I thought Schaden-Friday might slip away without a good dose of bad news for a bad, bad person. Ah, but it came through in the end to bite one of the most loathsome arses on God’s verdant vale of tears. Roger Stone may want to grab his blankie, because there are no blanket pardons coming for this. <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/justice-department-sues-trump-ally-roger-stone-alleging-millions-unpaid-n1264372?cid=sm_npd_ms_tw_ma" target="_blank">NBC News:</a> <blockquote> The Justice Department on Friday sued Roger Stone, a longtime ally of former President Donald Trump, accusing Stone and his wife of owing nearly $2 million in unpaid income taxes. The lawsuit, filed in federal court in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, says the couple underpaid their income taxes by $1,590,361 from 2007 to 2011. It further says Stone did not pay his full tax bill in 2018, coming up $407,036 short. </blockquote> <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;BREAKING: &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/TheJusticeDept?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;@TheJusticeDept&lt;/a&gt; sues Roger Stone, alleges fraudulent tax dodging scheme.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Name of the company Stone allegedly used? &amp;quot;Drake Ventures&amp;quot;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Story: &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/blakersdozen?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;@blakersdozen&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href="https://t.co/4kGpvD2OxL"&gt;https://t.co/4kGpvD2OxL&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="https://t.co/OeCR5fTW89"&gt;pic.twitter.com/OeCR5fTW89&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; John Scott-Railton (@jsrailton) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/jsrailton/status/1383202902160867338?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;April 16, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">BREAKING: <a href="https://twitter.com/TheJusticeDept?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TheJusticeDept</a> sues Roger Stone, alleges fraudulent tax dodging scheme. Name of the company Stone allegedly used? "Drake Ventures" Story: <a href="https://twitter.com/blakersdozen?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@blakersdozen</a><a href="https://t.co/4kGpvD2OxL">https://t.co/4kGpvD2OxL</a> <a href="https://t.co/OeCR5fTW89">pic.twitter.com/OeCR5fTW89</a>— John Scott-Railton (@jsrailton) <a href="https://twitter.com/jsrailton/status/1383202902160867338?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 16, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> So hard to believe that Roger Stone, well-known Trump whisperer and anthropomorphic IBS symptom, would run afoul of the law. Again. And now that Trump is out of office, the DOJ is unlikely to tap the brakes on this latest investigation. Maybe if his bank account is denuded a bit he’ll stop dressing like a Batman villain. Or not. Either way, this is bound to be pretty entertaining. <div class="align-center"> <figure class="image-captioned width-md"><img alt="popcorn.gif" src="https://images.dailykos.com/images/884738/large/popcorn.gif?1605730028" title="popcorn.gif"> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure> </div> Cheers, and have a great weekend! ”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry." — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08F9NBJ55?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_3&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Lunatic-obscenely-letters-ebook/dp/B07BZ5MM2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524886077&sr=8-1&keywords=dear+f+cking+lunatic" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Lunatic</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0826YPJC7/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2UAN74AXGEOSW&keywords=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing&qid=1575235698&sprefix=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-4" target="_blank">Dear Pr*sident A**clown</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Moron-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B07Q5XTQGF/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1554334938&refinements=p_27%3AAldous+J.+Pennyfarthing&s=digital-text&sr=1-1&text=Aldous+J.+Pennyfarthing" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Moron</a>, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DOJ DonaldTrump JusticeDepartment Recommended RogerStone Taxes trump _2026278 Fri, 16 Apr 2021 23:29:14 +0000 Of course Boebert and Greene were the only ones to vote against the National Marrow Donor Program https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/16/2026197/-Of-course-Boebert-and-Greene-were-the-only-ones-to-vote-against-the-National-Marrow-Donor-Program Tweedledum and Tweedledipshit are at it again, and this time (or, rather, once again) real people’s lives are on the line. Well, no, they’re not, actually, because these two are just a couple of windy assholes whistling in the willows, where no one can really hear them, evoking the age-old philosophical conundrum: “If Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert fart Bible verses in the forest in their original Aramaic, will they still be entered into the Congressional Record?”  Ladies and germs, Reps. Boebert and Greene are the only ghouls among a phalanx of ghoulish Grand Old Partiers who are actually ghoulish enough to vote against reauthorizing the National Marrow Donor Program, which maintains a database of potentially lifesaving bone marrow donors. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) blooddiseases LaurenBoebert Leukemia MarjorieTaylorGreene NationalMarrowDonorProgram Recommended Republicans _2026197 Fri, 16 Apr 2021 17:50:14 +0000 Hannity notes shooting of 13-year-old 'man' Adam Toledo https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/15/2026132/-Hannity-notes-shooting-of-13-year-old-man-Adam-Toledo I’m not even sure what to do with this. I’m gobsmacked. Oh, he was a man, eh? I guess that means it’s okay for the cops to shoot him. What other conclusion can you possibly take from this ribbon of rancid tripe dribbling out the malignant maw of one Sean Hannity? From Hannity’s crappy radio show, <a href="https://www.mediamatters.org/sean-hannity/sean-hannity-describes-adam-toledo-13-year-old-man" target="_blank">via Media Matters:</a> <blockquote> HANNITY: We are awaiting the release this hour of Chicago Police bodycam footage that captured the fatal police shooting of a young 13-year-old man by the name of Adam Toledo. And if social media is any indication, there's a lot of chatter today about possible unrest. I hope it doesn't happen but with Chicago's track record, every weekend—you know, I guess, you'd have to go with the odds, considering there are dozens and dozens of shootings and killings every weekend in Chicago—that this might not be particularly good. </blockquote> I can just about guarantee Hannity’s producers are furiously Googling as we speak to find out if Toledo ever stole a bag of Sour Patch Kids or cannonballed into the public pool after the lifeguard sternly warned him not to. Because, again, then it would all be justified, right? I can’t even anymore. ”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry." — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08F9NBJ55?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_3&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Lunatic-obscenely-letters-ebook/dp/B07BZ5MM2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524886077&sr=8-1&keywords=dear+f+cking+lunatic" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Lunatic</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0826YPJC7/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2UAN74AXGEOSW&keywords=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing&qid=1575235698&sprefix=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-4" target="_blank">Dear Pr*sident A**clown</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Moron-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B07Q5XTQGF/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1554334938&refinements=p_27%3AAldous+J.+Pennyfarthing&s=digital-text&sr=1-1&text=Aldous+J.+Pennyfarthing" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Moron</a>, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AdamToledo Chicagopolice policeshooting Recommended SeanHannity _2026132 Fri, 16 Apr 2021 00:21:35 +0000 Even Pat Robertson—yes, Pat Robertson!—comes down on the side of police reform https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/15/2026073/-Even-Pat-Robertson-yes-Pat-Robertson-comes-down-on-the-side-of-police-reform Obviously, I’m no fan of Pat Robertson, and it’s a rare occasion indeed when I agree with him. After all, he’s basically a workaday evangelical Nutter Butter, and evangelicals gave us the prank gift of Donald Trump. It was sort of like giving us all ugly Christmas sweaters as a joke, except they weren’t joking … and the sweaters were highly flammable … and yet somehow still contained asbestos … and weren’t “ugly” so much as Hieronymus Bosch-like grotesqueries that kept us awake at night as they hung menacingly in our closets, ready to choke the life out of us and end Christmas (nay, joy itself) forever. So when Robertson starts sounding reasonable, I automatically check my surroundings to see what timeline I’m in. Maybe it’s a timeline where Trump was never actually president and Hillary Clinton is serving her second term after they finally checked Ted Cruz’s garden shed for bodies, thus abruptly ending his campaign. But, no. We’re still in this reality, and Pat is still Pat. That said, he’s come around to stating the obvious. Discussing the police killing of Daunte Wright on The 700 Club Thursday, Pat questioned how anyone could ever mistake a taser for a gun, and he and co-host Terry Meeuwsen made some pretty good points, frankly. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) 700Club DaunteWright DerekChauvin GeorgeFloyd PatRobertson policereform Recommended Taser _2026073 Thu, 15 Apr 2021 19:55:20 +0000 MAGA world rages after Ivanka gets the Fauci ouchie https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/15/2026055/-MAGA-world-rages-after-Ivanka-gets-the-Fauci-ouchie Ivanka Trump has spent the past five years trying to position herself in the public’s mind as the “reasonable” Trump. Granted, that's a pretty low bar. All she really needed to do is show up as “warm-blooded” on infrared surveillance cameras, and she was basically there. Another useful tactic? Avoid appearing on video every 10 minutes, like <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/now/donald-trump-jr-pre-debate-074622940.html" target="_blank">the unofficial spokesperson for pure Colombian cocaine.</a> No, for Ivanka, the trick is to tacitly endorse every horrible thing her father does. She stood around cow-eyed and mute while the country unraveled, only to then gurgle pro-civilization shibboleths like “we need better child care” and “let’s all get the vaccine” to make it seem like her dad didn’t just spend the past half-decade menacing the nation like an aimless Macy’s Angry Birds balloon with explosive diarrhea. The problem for Ivanka, though, is that MAGA devotees aren’t much interested in civilization—or at least the parts where we pass laws for the common good, do our civic duty by paying our taxes and vaccinating ourselves and our children, and accept the results of free and fair elections. The parts of civilization that produced at least <a href="https://www.vons-ub.com/anheuser-busch/bud-light-family" target="_blank" title="">10 discrete varieties of Bud Light</a>? Now you’re talking. And so the reaction to Ivanka’s Wednesday announcement on Instagram and Twitter that she got the COVID-19 shot was fairly predictable. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) Coronavirus Covid-19 DonaldTrump IvankaTrump Recommended trump Vaccinations Vaccines _2026055 Thu, 15 Apr 2021 17:45:22 +0000 Despite Trump's constant fearmongering over shutdowns, suicides actually declined in 2020 https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/14/2025973/-Despite-Trump-s-constant-fearmongering-over-shutdowns-suicides-actually-declined-in-2020 During last year’s <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2020/10/23/debate-transcript-trump-biden-final-presidential-debate-nashville/3740152001/" target="_blank">second presidential debate</a>, Donald Trump made certain to note how horribly things were going on his watch: “We have to open our country,” the big, dumb adobe mud hut brayed. “We're not going to have a country. You can't do this, we can't keep this country closed. It is a massive country with a massive economy. People are losing their jobs, they're committing suicide. There's depression, alcohol, drugs at a level that nobody's ever seen before. There's abuse, tremendous abuse. We have to open our country. You know I've said it often—the cure cannot be worse than the problem itself, and that's what's happening.” As we all know, the only thing Trump was actually concerned about was his reelection. I know this because nothing would have contributed more to our citizens’ flagging mental health than seeing Trump’s clammy, ramshackle corpse trundled up to the inauguration dais for another four years of ungodly terror. Of course, Trump continually made a big deal out of all the suicides that were supposedly happening—again, on his watch—as a result of COVID-related closures. But, as usual, Trump was wrong.  rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) Coronavirus Covid-19 DonaldTrump MentalHealth Suicide trump _2025973 Thu, 15 Apr 2021 00:06:56 +0000 Sorry, Republicans. You're basically just Matt Gaetz now https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/14/2025909/-Sorry-Republicans-You-re-pretty-much-just-Matt-Gaetz-now Just as the COVID-19 pandemic transformed the country and Donald Trump transformed his body into a Carl’s Jr. grease trap, Trump himself has all but <a href="https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Brundlefly" target="_blank" title="">Brundlefly’d</a> the Republican Party—to the point where I don’t know what the fuck it is anymore. What are the GOP’s principles? Well, four years of Trump showed us what they aren’t. They don’t stand for fiscal responsibility or family values anymore. Small government? We spent much of the last year watching small-government principles at work. Only they weren’t small-government principles so much as incompetent-government principles. And Americans <a href="https://www.cnn.com/politics/live-news/electoral-college-vote-2020-biden-trump/index.html" target="_blank" title="">were not impressed</a>. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AbigailTracy Covid-19 DonaldTrump GOP MattGaetz Recommended RepublicanParty trump _2025909 Wed, 14 Apr 2021 19:20:48 +0000 Tucker Carlson's latest shtick gets big thumbs-up from white nationalist hate group https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/13/2025785/-Tucker-Carlson-s-racist-shtick-gets-big-thumbs-up-from-white-nationalist-hate-group My father helped run a construction company when I was a kid, and he was pretty hands-on with his work. While he was perfectly at home in the office drawing up plans (or whatever construction guys do; I never had much interest in his profession, though I know he was good at it), he did occasionally regale us kids with tales of the times he had to crawl through sewers to find something or other. (I assume he was looking for leaks, though again, these stories didn’t really resonate with me because they didn’t end with him being accosted by a Star Wars trash-compactor monster or, say, <a href="https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/Ellen_Ripley" target="_blank">Ripley</a>.) Never in a million years did I think I’d follow in his footsteps—until now. Because, my good fellow travelers, “crawling through a sewer” is basically what I had to do to bring you this tweet. And it’s a doozy. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) AntiDefamationLeague GreatReplacementTheory Racism Recommended SouthernPovertyLawCenter TuckerCarlson VDare WhiteNationalism _2025785 Tue, 13 Apr 2021 23:50:55 +0000 Brave trans girl scolds 'bullying' Texas legislators who want to make her life harder https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/13/2025684/-Brave-trans-girl-scolds-bullying-Texas-legislators-who-want-to-make-her-life-harder You’d think Texas would want to fix its electrical grid or do everything in its power to stem the COVID-19 pandemic, but you’d be wrong. Nothing is ever more important to a Lone Star State politician than launching unnecessary salvos in the culture wars. If it’s not the brutally defamed Mr. Potato Head they’re rushing to defend, it’s busybody Texas conservatives who simply can’t brook the thought of transgender kids being understood and cared for by loving parents who accept them as they are. Texas may think these kinds of parents are “abusers,” but two things they’re not doing is shoehorning their children into rigid gender roles or <a href="https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/2/18/2016829/-Ted-Cruz-blames-his-kids-for-ill-advised-Cancun-trip-because-he-s-simply-the-worst" target="_blank">blaming them for coaxing them onto a jet bound for Cancun</a>. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DoctorsforChange KaiShappley LGBTQ Texas TexasLegislature Transgender transyouth _2025684 Tue, 13 Apr 2021 16:24:33 +0000 MyPillow guy Mike Lindell is now vowing to take on Amazon https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/12/2025536/-MyPillow-guy-Mike-Lindell-is-now-vowing-to-take-on-Amazon I never took any business classes, but I can only assume Rule 1 of successful business-ing is to avoid challenging three of the largest and most entrenched tech companies on the planet when you’re basically just a mustache Gorilla-Glued to a Hefty bag full of liposuction fat and delusions. Ladies and germs, Mike Lindell, pillow magnate, is at it again. Almost exactly one month ago, Lindell, who’s arguably been a bigger purveyor of Trump’s Big Lie than Trump himself, claimed he was <a href="https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/3/13/2020911/-MyPillow-Guy-launching-site-to-compete-with-YouTube-and-Twitter-because-sure-why-not" target="_blank">going to start a new social media platform to take on YouTube and Twitter</a>. And now—hey, why not?—he’s determined to bury Amazon. He won’t rest until all these deep-state operators are put out of business, and neither will anyone who buys his pillows (which, by the way, you <a href="https://www.amazon.com/MyPillow-Classic-Standard-Queen-Medium/dp/B0862DW4LK" target="_blank">can still order on Amazon</a>; let’s see for how long, eh?).  rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) amazon.com BigLie DonaldTrump Election2020 MikeLindell MyPillow MyStore Recommended trump Twitter YouTube _2025536 Mon, 12 Apr 2021 17:58:29 +0000 Trump reportedly refused to meet with Matt Gaetz in wake of scandal https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/12/2025520/-Trump-reportedly-refused-to-meet-with-Matt-Gaetz-in-wake-of-pervy-revelations I’ve watched a lot of mob movies, so I know it’s a really bad sign when the boss refuses to see you. (Question: If a Trump capo leaves a gross giant horse head in Gaetz’s bed, how long will his fiancée canoodle with it before she realizes it’s not Matt?) In case you somehow haven’t heard, Florida congressman and faithful Trump toady Matt Gaetz is in a bit of a pickle after spending a bit too much time and energy following the counsel of his sour gherkin, and now our former pr*sident has apparently tossed him into the coffee boy black hole. And as everyone knows, once you’ve crossed that event horizon, there’s no turning back. I haven’t been this depressed about a public split since Randy Quaid broke with consensus reality. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DonaldTrump Florida Gaetzgate Mar-a-Lago MattGaetz trump _2025520 Mon, 12 Apr 2021 16:48:21 +0000 'Gutfeld!' is hiring comedy writers for its atrociously unfunny train wreck of a show https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/11/2025423/--Gutfeld-is-hiring-comedy-writers-for-its-unspeakably-humorless-train-wreck-of-a-show Weed o’clock struck early today. Not sure why. Something to do with daylight saving time, I think. Or the Maya calendar? Fuck if I know. It just felt like a day-tokin’ kinda day here in the Pacific Northwest. But this isn’t about me. Because there’s no way in hell I would ever answer this ad: <div class="dk-editor-embed center-block" data-twitter-content="&lt;blockquote class="twitter-tweet"&gt;&lt;p lang="en" dir="ltr"&gt;Some personal news &lt;a href="https://t.co/Hzh7p3rBHz"&gt;pic.twitter.com/Hzh7p3rBHz&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&amp;mdash; Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) &lt;a href="https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1381306085898870792?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"&gt;April 11, 2021&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt; "><div class="remove-embed-content">x</div><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">Some personal news <a href="https://t.co/Hzh7p3rBHz">pic.twitter.com/Hzh7p3rBHz</a>— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) <a href="https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1381306085898870792?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 11, 2021</a></blockquote> </div> <blockquote> For the nontweeters: Freelance Comedy Writer, Greg Gutfeld Show … “We’re looking for a strong writer who is equally passionate about comedy and current events. You are a proactive individual who can write smart, crisp copy with an edge. You are knowledgeable about politics, social trends, pop culture, and can view stories from a unique perspective. Your responsibilities will include writing accurate segment copy that’s rich with humor, punch, and irony. ...” </blockquote> I know this goes without saying, but I can’t imagine what self-respecting writer—comedic or otherwise—would allow a hack like Greg Gutfeld to murder their copy live on air. It would be like sending Lennie from Of Mice and Men a puppy-of-the-week subscription box. A monkey taking a shit in its own hand is twice as funny as Gutfeld! A monkey taking a shit in Greg Gutfeld’s hand is still funnier than Gutfeld!, but at least it’s a contest. Greg Gutfeld shitting in a monkey’s hand? Now you’re talking. Incidentally, the previous paragraph will be the gist of my first writers’ room pitch after Gutfeld! hires me. Might as well hit the ground running, eh? ”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry." — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via Twitter. Need a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08F9NBJ55?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_3&storeType=ebooks" target="_blank">Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Lunatic-obscenely-letters-ebook/dp/B07BZ5MM2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524886077&sr=8-1&keywords=dear+f+cking+lunatic" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Lunatic</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0826YPJC7/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2UAN74AXGEOSW&keywords=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing&qid=1575235698&sprefix=aldous+j.+pennyfarthing%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-4" target="_blank" title="">Dear Pr*sident A**clown</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dear-cking-Moron-Letters-Donald-ebook/dp/B07Q5XTQGF/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1554334938&refinements=p_27%3AAldous+J.+Pennyfarthing&s=digital-text&sr=1-1&text=Aldous+J.+Pennyfarthing" target="_blank">Dear F*cking Moron</a>, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo! rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) comedywriters FoxNews GregGutfeld Gutfeld Hack Recommended _2025423 Mon, 12 Apr 2021 00:44:10 +0000 John Boehner gets around to bashing fellow Ohioan Jim Jordan https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/11/2025377/-John-Boehner-gets-around-to-bashing-fellow-Ohioan-Jim-Jordan Former House Speaker John Boehner has been on quite a roll lately as he plugs his book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/House-John-Boehner/dp/1250238447/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=john+boehner&qid=1618165299&sr=8-1" target="_blank">On the House: A Washington Memoir</a>.  In a clip from the audio version of his book, <a href="https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/4/2/2024131/-Boehner-let-the-vitriol-fly-during-wine-soaked-recording-of-audiobook-One-target-was-Ted-Cruz" target="_blank" title="">Boehner told Sen. Ted Cruz to go fuck himself</a>, which, as Cruz’s<a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/132655/ted-cruzs-college-days-widely-hated-masturbator-come-back-haunt-him" target="_blank" title=""> former Princeton roommate Craig Mazin can confirm</a>, Ted has some experience with.  Boehner was also recently the jagged stone in Donald Trump’s clown shoe, telling the following unflattering tale about our pustulant ex-POTUS. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) CBSSundayMorning Congress DonaldTrump JimJordan JohnBoehner JohnDickerson Recommended TedCruz trump _2025377 Sun, 11 Apr 2021 19:24:27 +0000 Insurrectionist experiences 'shock' over being held with people accused of 'inner city crimes' https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/10/2025268/-Insurrectionist-experiences-shock-over-being-held-with-people-accused-of-inner-city-crimes I’ve never seen so many snowflakes in my life, and I grew up in Wisconsin. It’s still mind-boggling that so many Trumpaloompas thought they could storm the U.S. Capitol, openly engage in a violent insurrection, and then grab some Arby’s on the way home and chill with a box of Fiddle Faddle while the rest of us totally forgot about this picayune kerfuffle. It’s almost as if white people have been conditioned to think they have nothing to fear from the law. rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) CapitolRiot Coup DonaldTrump Election2020 Insurrection January6 PresidentJoeBiden Recommended TommyWebster trump _2025268 Sat, 10 Apr 2021 18:22:16 +0000 MyPillow guy says he's hired investigators to find out why he can't get on Fox News anymore https://www.dailykos.com/story/2021/4/9/2025170/-MyPillow-guy-says-he-s-hired-investigators-to-find-out-why-Fox-won-t-have-him-on-the-air-anymore It’s time for another Schaden-Friday update on Mike Lindell, the ‘70s porn mustache who grew into a real boy through hard work, determination, and a generous dollop of unadulterated delusion. Today, on Steve Bannon’s online talk show The Wide World of Dorks, Bannon asked Lindell, who appears to actually believe the kooky things he says, why Lindell can’t get on Fox News anymore. And even though Bannon looks like a Cabbage Patch Doll stitched together from the fingertips of three-pack-a-day Pall Mall smokers, he’s nevertheless smart and savvy enough to know the answer to this question.  rss@dailykos.com (Aldous J Pennyfarthing) DominionVotingSystems DonaldTrump Election2020 FoxNews MikeLindell Recommended Smartmatic SteveBannon trump _2025170 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 22:54:34 +0000