On this date in both 2015, as well as 2016, “Crazy/Stupid Republican of the Day” profiled Sam Clovis, the runner up in the 2014 GOP Primary for the U.S. Senate seat from Iowa, placing second behind Joni Ernst, on the strength of her hog-castrating platform. Clovis’ own campaign web page accused the Obama administration of strengthening America’s enemies, as well as the age-old lie that the Affordable Cart Act has brought about “ healthcare rationing”. Clovis promised to, if elected, block any judicial candidate that did not follow “Biblical law”, and claimed that the American government was “destroying our churches”. He also expressed his commitment to “finding out the truth about Benghazi” repeatedly, eventually going as far as to say that the only reason President Obama had not been impeached over it was that he wasn’t white. We noted in our second look at Clovis that he was one of the first campaign cuts by Rick Perry’s 2016 campaign, and Clovis jumped to the 2016 Donald Trump campaign, instead. E-mails leaked from Clovis’ time in the Perry campaign, where he was praising the former Texas governor for saying Trump was “a cancer on conservatism”, indicating that his big fat mouth still continues to get him in trouble. And with the Trump campaign, Clovis continues to be a bumbler, stumbling his way through a CNN interview with Anderson Cooper by saying he was “disappointed” that Cooper had brought up instances of Trump flip-flopping on the record on issues, which disappointment seems to the only alternative to irrational babbling that Trump pundits show when the media calls them on their bulls***.
We’ll just go ahead and share the three biggest lies Clovis told while working on the Trump campaign (admittedly, he was overshadowed by ladies like Katrina Pierson, Scotty Neil Hughes, and Kellyanne Conway):
- May 12th, 2016: Sam Clovis claims that Donald Trump’s tax plan would create, and we quote… “a 7 trillion dollar budget surplus”. While Clovis is a former economics professor, he was also on Trump’s payroll, so you have to consider that maybe he was miscalculating deliberately. Especially when the majority of economists checked his math and found out Trump’s plan would actually add $5.3 trillion to the U.S. national debt over a decade.
- June 30th, 2016: Clovis, in a CNN interview, claims that Donald Trump never talked about bringing waterboarding back as a technique used by the intelligence community. Trump not only is on tape doing exactly that, he told crowds at his rallies, on video, he would “bring back a hell of a lot worse than waterboarding”.
- July 18th, 2016: Sam Clovis was one of many members of the GOP who defended Melania Trump after he plagiarized Michelle Obama’s speech from eight years earlier, saying she “didn’t have anything to do with it”. (Trump’s own speechwriter, Meredith McIver, admitted Melania read the passages she wanted in her speech to her, and then included them in the statement she gave when she resigned in disgrace.)
- October 11th, 2016: Clovis defends the comments from the Access Hollywood tape of Donald Trump boasting about committing sexual assault by saying that they occurred “before he made his recent faith journey”. Donald Trump has openly said he doesn’t feel the need to ask God for forgivness, so… that’s a load of crap.
Honestly, we can’t tell if Sam Clovis is constantly squinting or if his facial features are shrinking like he’s some sort of Dick Tracy villain. For his service to his orange overlord, Clovis was given a high-paying government job working in the USDA, which if you’re paying attention to any Trump appointment, he’s almost completely unqualified for. Hopefully, he can find the right medication to treat his condition of rapidly-multiplying chins.