Arizona audit is checking ballots for bamboo, because they obviously came from Asia

Attribution: AFP/Getty Images

May 05, 2021 4:21pm PDT by Aldous J Pennyfarthing, Community

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Okay, I knew the current Arizona election audit was a wacky cavalcade of feckless tomfoolery, but I never expected this. They’re checking for bamboo in Arizona’s 2020 election ballots because they may have been smuggled in from Asia.No, seriously. Say, maybe they should toss all the uncounted ballots in the panda paddock at the Phoenix Zoo to see which ones the li’l critters find most delicious. If they scarf down more Biden-Harris ballots than Trump-Pence ballots, you’ve got your proof. Finally! A break in the case!

Gird your loins. This is gonna get nuts:

John Brakey, an official helping oversee the audit of the 2020 Arizona election, says auditors are looking for bamboo fibers because of a baseless accusation that 40K ballots from Asia were smuggled here. #AzAuditPool pic.twitter.com/57UOBYIehg
— Dennis Welch (@dennis_welch) May 5, 2021

REPORTER: “The other day at the press conference you were talking about bamboo. What was that all about?”

JOHN BRAKEY OF AUDIT ELECTIONS USA: “Well, there’s accusations that 40,000 ballots were flown in … to Arizona and it was stuffed into the box. And it came from the southeast part of the world—Asia, okay? And what they’re doing is to find out if there’s bamboo in the paper. That camera right there, if they take a picture of the ballot they can really look at depth and find out is it a hand-marked paper ballot, because it’s a 5K camera. You can see the folds in the ballot because 92% of all the ballots here should have been folded, because they came in through an envelope. So they’re doing all sorts of testing to prove if it was or wasn’t, and that’s very important, because the only way you’re going to persuade people on changing is having facts, and we’re on a mission for facts. And I’m AUDIT Elections USA, and what we do is not about the right or left. AUDIT is an acronym—it stands for Americans United for Democracy, Integrity, and Transparency in Elections. We’ve been around 17 years.”

So who wants to sneak into the Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum with me to slip a few reams of P.F. Chang’s to-go menus in with the uncounted ballots? We could toss in a couple pay stubs from George Soros’ charitable foundation while we’re at it. To quote the inimitable Mitt Romney, “Aren’t you embarrassed?” Ah, never mind. I already know the answer.Thursday, May 6, 2021 · 5:01:17 AM +00:00 · Aldous J Pennyfarthing

Please see this comment from TheBradBlog:

“For the record, John Brakey is long time progressive, union Dem and election integrity expert (who I have known for years.)

“He was explaining what they are doing. He was not supporting it. In the next part of the clip, he notes he notes he doesn't believe they will find anything. Much as he has been telling me for more than a week since the ‘audit’ began. I interviewed him on The BradCast here last week. And, yes, we also discussed the "bamboo" nonsense.”

***

See the SECOND part of the clip (that CBS5/TV3 in Phoenix should have included with the first part!) below…

Here’s the rest of the interview #AzAuditPool pic.twitter.com/crdMzmSkeg
— Dennis Welch (@dennis_welch) May 5, 2021

The story shouldn’t be about this guy, and I’ve tweaked the wording of this post in order to remove any implication that he’s the villain in question. There’s no shortage of bumblefuck Star Wars stormtroopers in that arena, but apparently he’s not one of them.

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