More than happy to distract from their various failures to lead, Republicans have revived some anti-LGBTQ+ ideologies amid the novel coronavirus pandemic. Unemployment concerns? Foodbank lines down the road? Kids getting lost in the rush of changes in terms of school? Don’t worry about all that, according to Republicans. Let’s worry about: bathrooms, birth certificates, and health care. But only if you’re trans. Right?
So here we are with a growing number of anti-LGBTQ+ bills popping up across the nation. There’s a particular emphasis on anti-trans bills, including trying to bar trans girls from competing on girls’ sports teams, trying to make it impossible for trans people of any age to update their birth certificates, and as of late, trying to bar trans youth from accessing safe, age-appropriate, lifesaving health care. And while Republicans are still using “women's rights” as a bogus defense of some anti-trans legislation, they’re now adding in a rallying cry that goes back decades into conservatism: grooming.
RELATED: Don't let conservatives confuse you: There's nothing inappropriate about being queer
As Daily Kos covered at the time, Christina Pushaw, who works as press secretary for Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis, recently fired off some nasty, misleading tweets about the latest anti-LGBTQ+ bill in Florida. The bill, colloquially known as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, essentially bars public schools from talking about LGBTQ+ histories and identities in the classroom. Conservatives present this as a matter of parental rights with the implication that discussing queer identity is somehow inappropriate or confusing for people of certain ages.
Pushaw took it a step further and said the quiet part out loud by implying that the bill is really “anti-grooming” and that if you’re against the bill, you’re “probably a groomer.”
Obviously, grooming is a real and serious issue. It’s a manipulative behavior usually aimed at children, teachers, or adults with developmental disabilities so that a person can get access to them, usually financially or sexually. Grooming can often look like special attention or a close bond at the start—giving gifts, for example, or being a particularly affirming and positive presence in the person’s life. This establishes a layer of trust that the groomer violates by, for example, intentionally exposing them to nudity or pornography, violating them while tickling or playing wrestling, or making them feel indebted because of money spent on gifts or opportunities.
It’s also worth noting that some people who are groomed feel the relationship was healthy and normal at the start, so by the time they’re actively being abused, they may feel stuck in a cycle of confusion and doubt. This dynamic could come into play especially if there’s a large age gap, for example, or the person is a figure of authority, like a coach or trusted family friend.
Now, with all of that in mind, LGBTQ+ people are not more likely to groom someone than anyone else. Are some queer people groomers? Sadly, yes. But simply being openly queer is not grooming. Talking about queer identity or history is not, in itself, grooming. But Republicans are happy to suggest that LGBTQ+ people only want to talk about their identities in order to “groom” children into becoming queer as well. Obviously, identity and orientation do not work that way. But conservatives have long used this incorrect, offensive framing.
Back in the late 1970s, for example, Anita Bryant and her husband Bob Greene pushed the narrative that queer people wanted to essentially “recruit” young people, as highlighted by Amanda Marcotte over at Salon. That rhetoric majorly caught on and is the basis of what many Republicans are spewing today. If kids meet a trans person, for example, they’ll have to worry about them being “recruited” or manipulated into being trans themselves. That’s not how it works, but structural queerphobia is very much alive and well, so people buy into it.
There’s also the point that if conservatives get people convinced being queer has to do with being recruited or manipulated into it, then queer people can simply … stop being queer. See: Conversion therapy in a nutshell.
It’s also a lot easier to justify discriminatory bans and laws if people start to agree that something is a choice. While not a current example, it’s all too easy to imagine Republicans start quipping back up with: Want to get married? Just don’t be gay, then.
Though Pushaw has faced calls to resign, DeSantis seems to feel similarly. He recently defended the Don’t Say Gay bill by arguing that the bill forbids folks from “telling kids they may be able to pick genders” as well as bans people from giving “sexual instruction.” Again, steeped in queerphobia—teaching queer history is not giving “sexual instruction.” Talking about queer sex in age-appropriate ways in sexual education or health classes, for that matter, is not even sexual “instruction.”
As a gay person myself, if being gay was a choice, I’d choose it every day. But that’s not the point. The point is, conservatives refuse to advance when it comes to human rights or ethics. When they’re not getting their way, they’re more than happy to keep returning to battles we’ve already fought and won, eager to chip away at any bit of progress we’re able to codify.
The battle is a long one, and we have to keep fighting. And on at least one level, that includes being on the lookout for hateful rhetoric, and making sure our loved ones—and ourselves, frankly—don’t fall into those carefully plotted traps.