Donald Trump's administration will soon be over. America has chosen a new president, and it will be Joe Biden. A Democratic team will replace the current Republican one. What is most important, in these coming weeks and months, is that all of America unite. We are no longer red or blue, Republican or Democrat. We must be Americans, first and foremost.
It is therefore time for a coalition government—one in which members of both parties come together, in the spirit of comity and respect, to reach across partisan divides. Not just liberals, not just conservatives. It is time to heal. To move on. To actually govern, once again, and that means making sure not even one damn person from the Donald J. Trump administration or its sycophantic Republican lawmaker chorus can ever show their faces in public again.
Republicans and Democrats must come together to heal this nation. Specifically, Republicans must join Democrats in declaring that there is no place for white nationalism or white supremacy in this country, and those that preach it and advocate for it should be barred from government service from now until the day they die. And from government buildings. And from getting their driver’s licenses renewed.
A broad coalition must be formed, one focused not on division, or stoking fears, but on a true American commitment to seeing Trump's collection of rat-bastards prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. From those that conspired to hide evidence from Congress, to those that maintained financial connections upon receiving governmental powers and sought to use their posts for their, or their allies, advantage; from those that lied to federal investigators to those that falsified government statistics for partisan gain, America must come together to build a new prison large enough for every one of them, and lock them up.
For those lawmakers that enabled corruption, brazenly and willingly, in service of political power, we must come together as a nation—and permanently expel them from our discourse. They have proved themselves, and proved unwilling to act even as their own national leader used his office for business profit. They proved themselves eagerly complicit, when a national leader ignored his oath repeatedly. They proved themselves something between cowardly and impotent, and between grossly indifferent and unspeakably craven, when a national leader's incompetence and self-delusions cascaded into a quarter million American deaths. They have proved themselves malevolent, and should be treated as such. It is nobody's damn fault that those lawmakers all happen to be Republicans; both Republicans and Democrats had equal opportunity to stand up for decency, in the Trump years. It cannot be helped if one party decided instead to collectively chew on their shoes, rather than show a stitch of leadership.
Politics was once said to stop at the water's edge. It is time to re-embrace that essential bipartisanship, and send teams of investigators to examine the relationships between our soon-to-be-ex-administration and world dictators who managed to get inexplicable favors from Donald's team. We must create new blue-ribbon commissions of nonpartisan dignitaries and experts to examine what threats were made by the Orange Blowhard to which of our allies and for which reasons.
It is time to rejoin the world community, not as Republicans or Democrats but as Americans, and extradite Donald J. Trump to whatever country wants to prosecute him. And then to all of the others, in turn. And to televise each trial, in each country, complete with the finest sports analysts and on-screen graphics our great nation can muster.
It is time to treat the rule of law as non-optional, and above political sparring. If Donald cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided. That attorney will be Gritty. Gritty will be provided to aid Donald Trump's legal efforts for however long as needed.
It is time for Republicans and Democrats to come together to acknowledge that Fox News, specifically, is a fascist cesspool of propaganda that has incalculably damaged our democracy by turning the Republican base into a collection of conspiracy-obsessed news illiterates—people who not only know less than their neighbors about the issues that face the nation than those that get their news from other sources, but know less about those issues than those who learned about them via hallucinogenic drugs, particular vivid dreams, or by seeking divine portents in bowls of breakfast cereal.
It is time for Americans from all walks of life to join hands and tell Tucker Carlson to his face that he is a grifting mother--king race-baiting asshole and that not one of us is fooled by his paycheck-seeking move to whatever tawdry fringe will have him. To tell Sean Hannity that his compulsive, relentless lying to the nation in service to the fragile ego and incalculable incompetence an actual no-kidding g--damn reality tv star has helped to kill a quarter million Americans, and to f--k all the way off, Sean, and with a side of ranch dressing. To tell the Murdoch family, once and for all, that if they are going to act as enemies of our democracy that they will be treated as enemies of our democracy.
It is time to tax the whole malevolent family into f--king poverty, for national unity or whatever.
It is time for a new proclamation: Anyone who is rude to a Donald Trump ex-staffer in a public restaurant shall get their meal for free and at taxpayer expense. If grifting, out-of-work ex-staffers want to game this system by publicly peppering one another with insults so that all involved can get a free meal, this is fine so long as they upload the exchange to YouTube within 12 hours.
Most importantly, we must look forward, not back. Instead of dwelling on the past, we should instead dwell on the clusterf--k that will be the future if Trump's unending list of white nationalists, professional liars, and eager criminals does not receive our public revulsion, our contempt, and the fullest possible prosecutions. Our nation depends on coming together, here and now, to wipe every last incompetent Republican sycophant from our politics and our televisions.
This means all those that stood by Trump, as he careened through our "norms" and revealed us to be an autocracy in waiting. The pundits. The Republican lawmakers. The "conservative" think tankers. The appointees. Every last one of them has betrayed this nation, has shown themselves to be supporters of even this, and the damage done has been incalculable. It is unforgivable. There is no possible repentance. They must be purged—or the next Republican autocrat may be successful where this incompetent, addled fart of a man was not.
Bipartisanly wipe them from office, and from our discourse. Prosecute every last parking ticket, if necessary. Remind them, now and forever, that when everything turned sour they were on the side of the sour—the reason that it happened. The reason all this happened.
Being a traitor to our very democracy is not a partisan stance, and so we can bipartisanly remove every one of these Trump-licking, corruption-embracing, oath-breaking grotesquery-defending pieces of absolute power-seeking crap and flush them down the national toilet.
Use a plunger if they try to pop their heads back up.
If that doesn't work, deport them and be done with it.
302
