GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember to wash your hands. As far as possible, without surrender, maintain a minimum six feet from all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; for they will likely dominate the Go To Zoom meeting.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they have been watching too much Fox News. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be some guy who doesn’t believe the CDC, but does believe Rush Limbaugh.
Enjoy your lack of achievements as well as your lack of plans. Honestly, when are you ever going to get this much time off again? Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is your only hope of getting back out of the house and away from those f#$^*+&g kids.
Exercise caution in who you listen to for information, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. (This offer not valid in the District of Columbia)
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection, this trend of hugging people you barely know has got to stop. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all pandemics and disinformation, there a some people you simply cannot avoid.
Take kindly working from home, gracefully surrendering both shirts with buttons and pants with belt loops.
Bolster your supply of spirits to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of watching the President give live news briefings.
Beyond an obsessive compulsion about hygiene, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. (Just not, like, right here. Would you mind backing off a few more feet buddy?)
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is paying us all back for being monumentally thick headed. Therefore be at peace with your Netflix queue, whatever weird stuff you’ve gotten into while stuck at home. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep sanitizing wipes in your car. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Just do it somewhere else, OK?