Last night, Stephen Colbert laid waste to the racist Heritage immigration study as only Stephen can.
STUART VARNEY (5/9/2013): $6.3 trillion dollars. Now you cannot dismiss Heritage as a fringe group, they're very much mainstream, and you cannot dismiss that number, because it's going to be dropped right in the middle of the immigration debate.
(in British accent) Native-born American Stuart Varney is correct. He, ladies and gentlemen, he is so authentically American, he has the same accent as they did in colonial times. (audience cheering and applause)
....
Bottom line, folks, we cannot afford to squander $6.3 trillion on a bunch of foreigners. We owe that money to China.
And if we give these moochers a pathway to citizenship, it will be a fiesta of freeloading, a cinco de gimme. The Heritage Foundation calculates this $6.3 trillion based on illegals using our public education, highways, parks, police, and firefighters.
And yes, I know that they're already here. But that does not mean they're using things like the fire department. Because everyone knows, until you're legal, you are not flammable.
And the report right here — and I've read it, it's a good read — and the report doesn't even mention the money we'd spend retrofitting every doorway in America to accommodate sombreros.
....
At issue, folks, is Richwine's 2009 Harvard dissertation, "IQ and Immigration Policy", which states that:
JASON RICHWINE (5/1/2009): The average IQ of immigrants in the United States is substantially lower than that of the white native population, and the difference is likely to persist over several generations.
That is shocking! Especially when you consider that the white native population of the United States is zero.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
....
And the Heritage Foundation's VP of Communications, Mike Gonzalez, put up a blog post saying:
MIKE GONZALEZ, HERITAGE VP (5/8/2013): Dr. Richwine did not shape the methodology or the policy recommendations in the Heritage paper. ... The dissertation was written while Dr. Richwine was a student at Harvard, supervised and approved by a committee of respected scholars. ... Its findings do not reflect the positions of The Heritage Foundation or the conclusions of our study....
Well said. That Mike Gonzalez sounds pretty smart — he's probably adopted. (audience laughter and applause)
Now Heritage is saying they find no credence in Richwine's dissertation, which they are careful to point out was "supervised and approved by ... respected scholars" at Harvard. In other words, Richwine's paper, which says that today's Hispanic immigrants have low IQs, and will for several generations, dooming them to failure, is reprehensible — and had no influence on this paper, co-written by the same guy, which says Hispanic immigrants are a burdensome underclass, and will be for several generations, because they're doomed to failure.
Video and full transcript below the fold.
And folks, the only thing I don't like is when the GOP gets all self-indulgent and tries to play their new stuff, like immigration reform, which has begun its climb through Congress in a disturbing reminder that Hispanics can vote.
And make no mistake, folks, the only reason Republicans are doing this is because of the 2012 election. I don't know if you remember that one. Sadly, I do, despite drinking a smoothie of my entire medicine cabinet. You'd think a cocktail of Rolaids, Listerine, and Gold Bond would erase something. (audience laughter)
Well luckily, there is a chance to stop this thing, thanks to some hard numbers from conservative think tank and GOP retirement home, the Heritage Foundation. Jim?
STEVE DOOCY (5/9/2013): A new report from the Heritage Foundation, saying legalizing immigration is going to cost the country trillions and trillions of dollars.
GERRI WILLIS (5/7/2013): ... $6.3 trillion dollars ...
LOU DOBBS (5/6/2013): ... $6 trillion dollars ...
BRIAN KILMEADE (5/7/2013): It's up to $6 trillion dollars, if you believe that study. Can we afford that?
STUART VARNEY (5/9/2013): $6.3 trillion dollars. Now you cannot dismiss Heritage as a fringe group, they're very much mainstream, and you cannot dismiss that number, because it's going to be dropped right in the middle of the immigration debate.
(in British accent) Native-born American Stuart Varney is correct. He, ladies and gentlemen, he is so authentically American, he has the same accent as they did in colonial times. (audience cheering and applause)
Folks, the Heritage report's $6.3 trillion price tag is a game-changer. It's a deal-breaker. It might even be a break-dancer. Because it is spinning the debate on its head, and then posing like this.
Bottom line, folks, we cannot afford to squander $6.3 trillion on a bunch of foreigners. We owe that money to China.
And if we give these moochers a pathway to citizenship, it will be a fiesta of freeloading, a cinco de gimme. The Heritage Foundation calculates this $6.3 trillion based on illegals using our public education, highways, parks, police, and firefighters.
And yes, I know that they're already here. But that does not mean they're using things like the fire department. Because everyone knows, until you're legal, you are not flammable.
And the report right here — and I've read it, it's a good read — and the report doesn't even mention the money we'd spend retrofitting every doorway in America to accommodate sombreros.
Now, the Latino lovers out there cannot refute this plan on the merits, so they have resorted to personal attacks on the study's co-author, Jason Richwine, seen here after drinking a refreshing glass of hair.
At issue, folks, is Richwine's 2009 Harvard dissertation, "IQ and Immigration Policy", which states that:
JASON RICHWINE (5/1/2009): The average IQ of immigrants in the United States is substantially lower than that of the white native population, and the difference is likely to persist over several generations.
That is shocking! Especially when you consider that the white native population of the United States is zero.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
Richwine gets even more specific to say:
JASON RICHWINE (5/1/2009): No one knows whether Hispanics will ever reach IQ parity with whites, but the prediction that new Hispanic immigrants will have low IQ children and grandchildren is difficult to argue against.
(audience boos)
Yes, it is difficult to argue, especially if you have an Hispanic IQ. Now, I can understand why Richwine's ideas offend members of the Hispanic race — like Jennifer Lopez, David Ortiz, Danny Trejo, and former Peruvian president Alberto Fujimori. I can't tell them apart.
But, even if Richwine were a racist, that doesn't invalidate the Heritage report. First of all, this weekend, Richwine resigned from the Heritage Foundation, I assume to spend more time measuring his family's skulls.
And the Heritage Foundation's VP of Communications, Mike Gonzalez, put up a blog post saying:
MIKE GONZALEZ, HERITAGE VP (5/8/2013): Dr. Richwine did not shape the methodology or the policy recommendations in the Heritage paper. ... The dissertation was written while Dr. Richwine was a student at Harvard, supervised and approved by a committee of respected scholars. ... Its findings do not reflect the positions of The Heritage Foundation or the conclusions of our study....
Well said. That Mike Gonzalez sounds pretty smart — he's probably adopted. (audience laughter and applause)
Now Heritage is saying they find no credence in Richwine's dissertation, which they are careful to point out was "supervised and approved by ... respected scholars" at Harvard. In other words, Richwine's paper, which says that today's Hispanic immigrants have low IQs, and will for several generations, dooming them to failure, is reprehensible — and had no influence on this paper, co-written by the same guy, which says Hispanic immigrants are a burdensome underclass, and will be for several generations, because they're doomed to failure.
Because this one [Heritage] is based on hard numbers, unlike this one [dissertation], which is an offensive screed with no credibility, approved by Harvard, so it must be pretty good. These two papers are totally different. It's like apple pickers and orange pickers. Which, by the way, we desperately need. We'll be right back.
Stephen also noted how the House GOP will vote to repeal Obamacare
for the 37th time.
Stephen then
complained about how he's not on this year's Maxim Hot 100, when he was #69 last year on their list of hottest
women.
Meanwhile, Jon talked about Obama's
awkward presser where he only took one question, and John Oliver
chimed in with how Obama should've used Prince Harry as a distraction.
Jessica Williams then
talked to former Utah state legislator Stephen Sandstrom (R), who
changed his mind on immigration after speaking to an undocumented girl, and then supported a path to citizenship, which may have destroyed his chances of a political future in Utah. (He lost the GOP nomination for UT-04 last year to rising GOP star Mia Love.)
Stephen talked with author
Dan Brown, and Jon talked with actor
Nathan Lane.